Young people enjoy their life more than older people do.

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Young people enjoy their life more than older people do.

Some people assume that youth enjoy their life more that older people do. From my perspective, I am positive that young individuals do take pleasure in life more than old ones because they have no responsibilities thus a myriad of time to spent on their own and strong health.

First of all, I’d like to point out that young individuals do their best to saturate their life as much as possible in order to have memorable thoughts. As they haven’t any responsibilities they spend their time on hobbies or entertainment like theme parties. For example, my sister Mila who is 19 has really busy and exciting life. After coming home from college she with enthusiasm goes skiing and roller-skating. As Mila is so addicted to these two activities, engagement in it grants her all positive emotions and a desire to be the best among others. On the other hand, there is an opinion that only old people know a truly value of life. It’s naturally true about experience or some situations but as for entertainment it is not. Just because they have work responsibilities or taking care of their children thus they simply don’t have any time to amuse themselves.

Moreover, youth is all about healthy body and well-being. Juveniles have enough strength to try themselves in extreme kind of sport like parachute jump or diving. It’s a widespread fact that extreme awakes fear which in consequence influences nervous system and heart. From this reasons old men can’t afford to do it as it is simply health hazard for them. But young people actively take advantage of their good well-being. They eager to take up parachute jump which gives them incomparable emotions for a long time or opportunity to see the marvelous underwater world. So, in one word people should have not only desire but a good health as well in order to enjoy a life.

As I have illustrated above, young people have more opportunities to relax and even to see the marvels as they don’t have workload and health problems.

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they have no responsibilities thus a myriad of time to spent on their own and strong health.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

has really busy and exciting life.
has a really busy and exciting life.

They eager to take up parachute jump
They are eager to take up parachute jump

Sentence: From this reasons old men can't afford to do it as it is simply health hazard for them.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and reasons

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 346 350
No. of Characters: 1607 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.313 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.645 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.727 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 94 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 62 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.222 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.981 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.296 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.458 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.079 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5