Your school has received a gift of money. What do you think is the best way for your school to spend this money? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.
There are a great number of choices which a school can allocate a budget, such as, building a new library, hiring better teaching staff, repairing old school buildings, or establishing a new computer laboratory. Among all these possibilities, I firmly believe that building a new computer lab is highly beneficial because of two important reasons.
The first point which should be taken into consideration is that, taking the advantage of a new computer lab, students can gain more knowledge. Students would have access to different databases for their research projects. These days, via internet, an individual can have infinite access to different digital libraries all over the world, as well as a great number of encyclopedias and other specialized resources. For example while I was studying in Shahid high school, we had a very well-educated teacher named Dr. Bagheri. He assigned a very difficult task to each of the students, mine contained a thorough research about different archaeological places in different parts of the world. It was impossible for me to visit any of those places; however, by using internet, I had access to numerous websites written about these amazing places. I gathered more than enough information about the ancient civilizations, how they interacted with each other, the great wars that happened, and so on. Using these data, I prepared an exhaustive report and I learned a lot. If there wasn't because of those computers I could never prosper.
Another point is that, using computers, students can pe better prepared for their future careers. Today, the job market is highly competitive, and only the ones who are specialists can get a favorable job position. By using computers, students can learn how to work with different professional software which plays a key role in students proficiency. For example, one of my friends had a burning desire to become a mechanical engineer. While we were studying at high school, he managed to learn a design software, named CATIA. Right after school, he went to the college, and afterward he could get a good job position at a multinational oil and petroleum Company, Fan-Niroo. Because of his knowledge of using that software, he rapidly rose through the hierarchy, and he is new sales manager. He is now enjoying the fruit of his labor. In brief, having skill to work with computers, can benefit students to get a better job position and prosper in their future career.
As we have seen, students can benefit a computer lab, a great deal. Using computers, students can have access to a variety of databases and, as a result, gain knowledge. They, also can gain more skill to be prepared for their future career. In my view, all schools should spend money to establish modern computer labs.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 600, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[3]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'thorough research'.
Suggestion: thorough research
...to each of the students, mine contained a thorough research about different archaeological places i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1075, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...ve report and I learned a lot. If there wasnt because of those computers I could neve...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 161, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...s highly competitive, and only the ones who are specialists can get a favorable job pos...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, so, well, while, for example, in brief, such as, as a result, as well as, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 52.1666666667 94% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2315.0 1977.66487455 117% => OK
No of words: 459.0 407.700716846 113% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04357298475 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62863751936 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84367059831 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 212.727598566 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.527233115468 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 722.7 618.680645161 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.994623655914 101% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.8830216197 48.9658058833 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.4583333333 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.125 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.58333333333 5.45110844103 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0844632940447 0.236089414692 36% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0267219804892 0.076458572812 35% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0337472021727 0.0737576698707 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0590294790529 0.150856017488 39% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0171941488649 0.0645574589148 27% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 11.7677419355 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.36 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 86.8835125448 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.