Some advertisers have increased the amount of money they spend trying to persuade children to buy snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents object to such pressure on their children, but advertisers claim there is useful information in these advertisements. Discuss both of view and give your own opinion.
More and more advertisements of snacks, toys and other goods have appeared on the public media to encourage children to purchase. Some people argue that parents are put under a harsh pressure with this situation. Advertisers are in favour of these advertisements and continue performing their job. In my essay, the above viewpoint would be discussed and my opinion would be presented.
With regard to parents who are under severe pressure of this type of the advertisements. It is clear that most children are keen on enjoying snacks, candies or toys. Therefore, these advertisements are being considered as valuable information for children to make requirements their parents to buy. However, this is a problem-solving task of the parents to deal with. If children enjoy these kind of food advertised on the media, their health will be impacted negatively with serious diseases such as diabetes, stroke and blood circulations.
As for advertisers, thanks to advertisement, they will make a huge profit. Their products would be popular and sold more because children concern and ask for their parents to buy these products to satisfy their interests. For the purpose of doing business, companies have tried their best to build strategies to increase their turnover regardless of harm to physical development of the children.
From my viewpoint, what governments need to do is promulgate a law or regulations to ban the advertisement of candies, snacks or toys on the media. According to recent researches, some studies indicate that if children enjoy a large number of candies during their adolescent time, they would become aggressive persons later as well as be suffered from serious illnesses. Therefore, it is absolutely crucial to make suggestion to have a heavy fine for advertisers who advertise these products on the media.
It seems to me that advertisement of snacks, toys and candies have drawbacks. Governments should have strict provision to handle this situation. This is an effective measure to safe children from unexpected issues.
Sentence: Therefore, these advertisements are being considered as valuable information for children to make requirements their parents to buy.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to requirements and their
regardless of harm to physical development of the children.
regardless of the harms to children's physical development.
what governments need to do is promulgate a law
what governments need to do is promulgating a law
This is an effective measure to safe children from unexpected issues.
This is an effective measure to save children from unexpected issues.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 326 350
No. of Characters: 1684 1500
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.249 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.166 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.958 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 118 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.111 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.895 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.389 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.298 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.536 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.022 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5