Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Television plays an important role in our lives strongly. And surely, television advertising is one of important things that affect young children as well as adult people. Some people agree that these advertising should not be allowed. Other disagrees. In my view, I completely believe that young children will be greatly influence by this advertisement, so they are not allowed to watch them for tow important reasons.
First, young children are not able to give their opinion to say if this product is good or not. Also, some advertisement are not interested to young children, therefore it waste their time. For example, advertisement of the insurance company, different networks and even new cars advertisement. Instead we can let them watch an educational program or read a story.
Second, many advertisement shows a lot of different toys and thus the kids may hope to purchase it. Also some shows different restaurant or fast food. Thus encourage children to try these types of unhealthy food. For example, yesterday when I were watching Television with my kids, an advertisement of a new restaurant jump in front of us and my kids start to complain that we need to try this restaurant. So they are influenced by this advertisement badly.
In conclusion, many parents do not prefer that their kid watch television advertising. Not only it is not important for them but also it affects them negatively sometimes. In general, it is waste of time for young children who may not understand what this advertisement is about.
Sentence: Also, some advertisement are not interested to young children, therefore it waste their time.
Description: The fragment it waste their is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace waste with verb, past tense
so they are not allowed to watch them for tow important reasons.
Suggestion: so they are not allowed to watch them for two important reasons.
Not only it is not important for them but also it affects them negatively sometimes.
Suggestion: 'Not only ...but also' not properly used
flaws:
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No. of Characters: 1240 1500
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 16 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
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No. of Words: 253 350
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