Today's world demands a person who has the knowledge of everything and not focused on a particular thing. If you can do so many things you will be popular among people around you and able to make so many friends of different fields. By learning many skills a person can guide others a little bit about so many things, able solve problems at basic level and have a huge knowledge of everything. That's why I agree with the statement that a person who learn many skills will be more successful.
My first reason for the statement that a person knowing many skills is more successful is that if a person knows many skills will be more popular and attractive. Because if a person knows so many things, he can impress everyone by helping them. For example, my neighbor knows cooking and gardening very well and she always helps me when ever I have got problem while I am cooking or my plants looks wilted and weak and all the person who leaves in our apartment come to her for help in the same.
My second reason for the statement that a person learn many skills is more successful is that if a person learn many skills he will be able to make friends from many different fields that might be supportive for future. Because if you know so many people you can get information about other fields and use them for your work or job and other opportunities that you can get from them. For instance when my husband was in graduate school he was involved in many social and physical activities and because of that he made lots of friends from those fields. When he was searching for a job, he found a connection with a chairperson of multinational company who offered him a job with very high salary and reputation.
Another reason is that if you learn only one skill your knowledge will be limited to a particular thing and it will always be a bug in your head. But by knowing many skills you can live easily anywhere with those skills and techniques around the world. For example one of my best friend who was always focused on her studies. When she moved with her boyfriend, she doesn't know how to use a simple vacuum cleaner or a microwave, because of that she always had a fight with her boyfriend.
In conclusion, a person will be more successful if he knows many skills, he will be having lots of friends, popularity, fame, reputation and makes life much easier. But by knowing only one skill he will be limited to his own cocoon. So its better to be a jack in all trades than master of one.
flaws:
Topic sentences can be simpler:
'My first reason for the statement that a person knowing many skills is more successful is that if a person knows many skills will be more popular and attractive.'
better to be:
First, a person will be more popular and attractive if he knows many skills.
'My second reason for the statement that a person learn many skills is more successful is that if a person learn many skills he will be able to make friends from many different fields that might be supportive for future.'
better to be:
Second, if a person learnt many skills, he will be able to make friends from many different fields that might be supportive for future.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 460 350
No. of Characters: 1995 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.631 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.337 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.342 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 44 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.556 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.335 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.378 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.58 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.279 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5