Do you agree that people should put all their time on enjoyment rather than doing other things or not?

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Do you agree that people should put all their time on enjoyment rather than doing other things or not?

Generally speaking enjoyment in life is very important but too much enjoyment may destroy your life. Some people believe that people shouldn't spend too much time on personal enjoyment rather that their necessary chores but others disagree. As far as I am concerned, I agree with former opinion for following reasons.

To begin with if we just focus on enjoyment we are not able to do our important roles in life. By way of example, I can recall when I was student in New York university the first semester when I started my courses I was very lazy and I couldn't able to study hard. So, I started to have fun with my friends, I went out every day, spent most of my time in parties, I went to Cinema. I did all enjoyment I could, but I didn't study at all! So when we were close to exam time. I was very anxious. I didn't know anything about my courses and I put plenty of time just to understand one passage from my text book! And at the end I failed that course and I had to retake that course again and this was really bad experience for me. So, this experience learned me that I shouldn't put all my time just on personal enjoyments because this have very bad consequences.

In addition to not able to do our roles if we put all our life on having enjoyments we will adapt to this situation and working could be very hard for us. For instance, My uncle don't have any job because he always go to casinos and he spent a lot of money there and he always wanted to win some money and every time that his parents tell him that go and find job he says that I don't need any job one day I will win a big amount of money and that's enough for rest of my life. He can not work at all because he just adopted to this type of life, to just has enjoyment and it is very hard for him to change his manner. As you clearly see, having just fun in life is not suitable for your life.

In conclusion, base on the arguments explored above, I am of the opinion that we should not put our whole life on enjoying but we should also put sometimes to do our chores. Not only more than normal enjoyment lead us to not able to do our important roles in life, but also we will adopted to this situation and we are not able to work hard. We all should put normal range of hours on enjoyment to have time to do other thing too.

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Average: 6 (4 votes)
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Sentence: So, this experience learned me that I shouldn't put all my time just on personal enjoyments because this have very bad consequences.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or
Suggestion: Refer to this and have

Sentence: In addition to not able to do our roles if we put all our life on having enjoyments we will adapt to this situation and working could be very hard for us.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a negator
Suggestion: Refer to to and not

Sentence: Not only more than normal enjoyment lead us to not able to do our important roles in life, but also we will adopted to this situation and we are not able to work hard.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a negator
Suggestion: Refer to to and not
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to will and adopted

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

Duplicate words or sentences. Look:
No. of Words: 460 while No. of Different Words: 199

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 460 350
No. of Characters: 1809 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.631 4.7
Average Word Length: 3.933 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.16 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 96 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 65 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 38 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.211 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.938 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.382 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.554 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.224 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5