Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
according to the statement, the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea. The conclusion is drawn on the basis that deer movement from island to other island for food search is hindered due to impact of the global warming as it melts floating ice cube which is used by the deer to move another island. However, the conclusion drawn is skeptical as it fails to mention these three condition in the premises of the assumption.
Firstly, the population of the deer might be deceased due to the hunting. The conclusion was drawn on the basis only on the report from the hunter who involved in the deer hunting activities. The hunter may have killed the large population of the deer and try to absolve from the charge by pointing the natural irregularities. furthermore, they might make the advantage of the report of the global warming and secretly kill the large number of the population of the deer for their own purpose. Under these circumstances the conclusion drawn that decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.
Secondly, the conclusion that decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea, is contradictory. according to the statement above, it is presented that the necessity of the deer to move another place due to the winter due to freezing environment which inhibit the plant growth. if the temperature is increasing as per global warming record there certainly will be the probability of the plenty of the plant in that locality which indicates that there is still viable environment for the survival of the deer population without the old age pattern movement. thus there might be another factor for the decline in the deer’s population. thus, it seriously weaken the conclusion drawn from the inference.
Lastly, the population of the predator may be increased exponentially than the deer population. In instance, there might be availability of the numerous number polar bear and snow leopard which fully depend upon the deer for their survival. furthermore, there may be no availability of another source of the food for these carnivores.
In conclusion, the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea is based on the insubstantial evidences. The argument may be considered valid if it has provided answer for the above point.
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- TOEFL T P O 4 Integrated Writing Task 55
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 434 350
No. of Characters: 2155 1500
No. of Different Words: 161 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.564 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.965 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.695 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 160 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 33.385 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 18.616 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.692 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.493 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.672 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.174 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: According
according to the statement, the purported decline...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 327, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Furthermore
...by pointing the natural irregularities. furthermore, they might make the advantage of the r...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 182, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: According
...cross the frozen sea, is contradictory. according to the statement above, it is presented...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 363, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ronment which inhibit the plant growth. if the temperature is increasing as per gl...
^^
Line 3, column 642, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thus
...n without the old age pattern movement. thus there might be another factor for the d...
^^^^
Line 3, column 642, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: thus,
...n without the old age pattern movement. thus there might be another factor for the d...
^^^^
Line 3, column 724, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thus
... decline in the deer's population. thus, it seriously weaken the conclusion dra...
^^^^
Line 3, column 743, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'weakens'?
Suggestion: weakens
...r's population. thus, it seriously weaken the conclusion drawn from the inference...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 242, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Furthermore
...epend upon the deer for their survival. furthermore, there may be no availability of anothe...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, lastly, may, second, secondly, so, still, thus, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2196.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 434.0 441.139720559 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0599078341 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56428161445 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79375956096 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 204.123752495 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.39400921659 0.468620217663 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 680.4 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.3122269505 57.8364921388 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.0 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.1111111111 23.324526521 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.72222222222 5.70786347227 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.177217238925 0.218282227539 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0658339004257 0.0743258471296 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0684615840675 0.0701772020484 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.118737526959 0.128457276422 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0640242392247 0.0628817314937 102% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 14.3799401198 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.92 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.