Benton City residents have adopted healthier lifestyles. A recent survey of city residents shows that the eating habits of city residents conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. During those ten years, local sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol, have increased fourfold, while sales of sulia, a food rarely eaten by the healthiest residents, have declined dramatically. Because of these positive changes in the eating habits of Benton City residents, we predict that the obesity rate in the city will soon be well below the national average.
Benton City residents expect to have low obesity rate in the city when in comparison with national average because of having healthier lifestyles. In order to Benton City residents follow healthier lifestyles, they follow more on government nutritional recommendation, having more kiran and not having sulia. Argument gives very cohesive discussion at first glance, but when it goes in detail, it doesn’t seem to have reasonable supporting ideas.
First of all, the question would need to be answered is when Benton City residents conform more the government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago, how much the gap between residents diets that it was ten years ago and government nutritional recommendation. It would have defect that if the diet ten years ago is comprehensible to be healthy lifestyles. So, there should be a condition that if Benton City resident’s diet of ten years ago is not healthy lifestyles, then it would be reasonable enough.
Furthermore, the question should be answered is about Kiran. Scientific research shows that Kiran has effect of reducing cholesterol. Why only Benton City residents only consume food products containing kiran in Benton City? Some people come from outside of Benton City came here and consumes food containing kiran. Other possibility would be only specific residents of Benton City who favor to have food containing kiran. If these two are not related with overall residents of Benton City consumption of kiran, then it will support the argument logically.
Lastly, when in talking about sulia, there is no specific point that affect healthy lifestyle negatively. There should be another scientific studies that why sulia is bad at healthy lifestyle. Also, it is possible reason that sales of sulia during ten years are getting expensive comparing to food containing kiran even though sulia is very healthy food to consume. Therefore, there should be replete reasoning to explain why residents of Benton City in pursuing healthy lifestyle.
Conclusively, it would be logically convincing if those three question answered with enough explanation; it would eventually be a solution of decreasing obesity rate in the Benton City.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 293, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'defected'.
Suggestion: defected
...tritional recommendation. It would have defect that if the diet ten years ago is compr...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, if, lastly, so, then, therefore, talking about, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1876.0 2260.96107784 83% => OK
No of words: 346.0 441.139720559 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.42196531792 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31289638616 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.93112034394 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 204.123752495 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.482658959538 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 593.1 705.55239521 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Interrogative: 3.0 0.471057884232 637% => Less interrogative sentences wanted.
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.0316409074 57.8364921388 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.352941176 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3529411765 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.35294117647 5.70786347227 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.416681521671 0.218282227539 191% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.148194088454 0.0743258471296 199% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.134402164159 0.0701772020484 192% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.224589028907 0.128457276422 175% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.146887643478 0.0628817314937 234% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.16 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.46 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 98.500998004 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.