The author built his argument upon the implication of Omega University's graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have the graduates from nearby Alpha University. While it might be true that dramatic rise of students' grades made the potential employers think that grades at Omega are inflated, the author does not make a cogent case by assuming that implementing the evaluating system of the professors by the students caused this increase.
First, the author did not provide proofs to support his claim. While the evaluating system's new procedure might persuade professors to assign higher grades in their classes, there is no concrete connection between the two instances. For example, the escalate of students' achievement in classes may be caused by improving the quality of education services in the university, or students may have improved their achievements in the class by working harder. Also, the evaluation may take place before the grade, so professors will not make use of assigning higher grades for students who already evaluated them earlier. To strengthen his argument, the writer should state more evidence of the connection between increasing student's grades and implementing new evaluating procedure.
Also, the author assumed that potential employers' will not consider Omega university's graduates since their gades do not really represent their achievements. This assumption is no reliable since the employers take into consideration many aspects when selecting a new employee. So there are many factors affects the graduate ability to get a job according to his qualifications, and the employer can decide whether graduate's grades reflect his achievement in the interview.
Thus, the fact that Omega graduates are less successful in getting jobs than Alpha University graduates is not a valid proof of author's assumption of the effect of the rise of grade on the employment of the university's graduates. However, the comparison between the two graduates is rife with holes since the author did not show a ground base for this comparison, he did not provide further information about Alpha University. For instance, the graduates of Alpha university may have better qualifications, or the university may have a better ranking than Omega University. So, the comparison is not logical and proper, unless the author has more information to prove his point.
In conclusion, while securing any education system from corruption is crucial to the quality of its graduate, the author's bold assumption did not significantly provide reliable pieces of evidence to prove this case.
- urbb 87
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Essay evaluation report
argument 1 and argument 2 are relatively similar.
argument 3 -- OK
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flaws:
Need to argue against the conclusion always. For this topic it is:
To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should terminate student evaluation of professors.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 408 350
No. of Characters: 2169 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.494 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.316 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.873 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 131 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 102 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 72 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.735 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.364 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.596 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 247, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...between the two instances. For example, the escalate of students achievement in classes may ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, may, really, so, then, thus, while, for example, for instance, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2211.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 408.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.41911764706 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49433085973 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92810719665 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 197.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.482843137255 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 706.5 705.55239521 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.9241326895 57.8364921388 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 147.4 119.503703932 123% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.2 23.324526521 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.8 5.70786347227 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.258585051092 0.218282227539 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0929294397134 0.0743258471296 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.076076548786 0.0701772020484 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.135906471151 0.128457276422 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0845154531611 0.0628817314937 134% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.7 14.3799401198 123% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 35.61 48.3550499002 74% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.197005988 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.45 12.5979740519 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.92 8.32208582834 107% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 98.500998004 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.