The following appeared in an e-mail sent by the marketing director of the Classical Shakespeare Theatre of Bardville.
"Over the past ten years, there has been a 20 percent decline in the size of the average audience at Classical Shakespeare Theatre productions. In spite of increased advertising, we are attracting fewer and fewer people to our shows, causing our profits to decrease significantly. We must take action to attract new audience members. The best way to do so is by instituting a 'Shakespeare in the Park' program this summer. Two years ago the nearby Avon Repertory Company started a 'Free Plays in the Park' program, and its profits have increased 10 percent since then. Therefore, I recommend that we start a 'Shakespeare in the Park' program of our own. If we do so, I predict that our profits will also see a significant increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
From the argument given we know that the Classical Shakespeare Theatre of Bardville has faced a significant decline in the size of its audience. The author of the e-mail recommends instituting the program which will be similar one which was started by the rival theater two years ago. The writer of the argument believes that repetiotion of the Avon Repertory Company will solve the problem of the Cassical Shakespeare Theatre. The author of the e-mail give us some evidences which serve to support his or her conclusin. However, do they strong enough to create a sound argument?
First of all, we were given information that the Classical Shakespeare Theatre of Bardville tried to attract people by advertising but the commercial has not given expected result. This date create the question how the efficiency of the advertisement was counted. We may conclude that the author of the argument does not see the increase of the tickets sold and as a result believes that the compaing was a failure, at the same time it is possible that without these commercial the Classical Shakespeare Theatre of Bardville would be insolvent.
Furthermore, the author of the argument believe that the rival theatre has increased its profit only because of the started program a "Free Plays in the Park". Despite the fact that this program indeed may be the cause of the change, we may have a situation that this theatre has better or more attractive performances. In this case, the repetition of the program by the Classical Shakespeare Theatre of Bardville will not lead to increase of the ticked sold.
What is more, even if the cause of the ten per cent increase is indeed the Avon Repertory Company' program, the author's assumption that the repetition of the exprience of the rival theatre will have the same result is unwarranted. two years ago the audience may be charmed by the free performances in the park, this experience was a novelty which may indeed attract people to the theatre, however, after two years of the implementation of the program a new rival may not have the same effect. To illustrate the point, Apple inc with its iPhone has a strong association with the smartphones, they were the first company which has given people a phone without bottons, its rival company Nokia baldly believed that may create a similar product and as a result to distract customers from Apple's products, as the histroy has shown, the Nokia's assumption was fallacious. In our case, the repetion of the free performances in the Park may bring the same result as it did two years age.
In conlusion, the author of the recommendation asserts that the repetition of the program that implemented by the rival theater will attract new audience, however, he or she does not manage to give strong support for his or her conclusion.
Comments
Hello.
Hello.
Keep working with argument prompts.
I have found this essay which was submitted in august 2015
In this case, a reader gives other example of appropriate analysis of the prompt.
The question is:
1)is it acorrect way to analyze argument?
In particular I am interested in the first argument.
2) It seems that without the last sentance there is nothing to argue about:
Over the past ten years, there has been a 20 percent decline in the size of the average audience at Classical Shakespeare Theatre productions. In spite of increased advertising, we are attracting fewer and fewer people to our shows, causing our profits to decrease significantly. /We must take action to attract new audience members.(the last sentence seems to be the crucial part which gives us hint to tackle the argument.)'
http://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/following-appeared-…
I ask this question because I am little bit perplexed.
Thank you.
for 1) you can't use external
for 1) you can't use external examples
for 2)
this is more accurate:
First, here we need to understand what caused a 20 percent decline. if for example the reasons are due to finance crisis or a decline in population, a 'Shakespeare in the Park' program will not work.
second, maybe the ads worked very well to attract new members, but cant keep old members.
Sentence: The writer of the argument believes that repetiotion of the Avon Repertory Company will solve the problem of the Cassical Shakespeare Theatre.
Error: repetiotion Suggestion: repetition
Sentence: The author of the e-mail give us some evidences which serve to support his or her conclusin.
Error: conclusin Suggestion: conclusion
Sentence: We may conclude that the author of the argument does not see the increase of the tickets sold and as a result believes that the compaing was a failure, at the same time it is possible that without these commercial the Classical Shakespeare Theatre of Bardville would be insolvent.
Error: compaing Suggestion: comparing
Sentence: What is more, even if the cause of the ten per cent increase is indeed the Avon Repertory Company' program, the author's assumption that the repetition of the exprience of the rival theatre will have the same result is unwarranted. two years ago the audience may be charmed by the free performances in the park, this experience was a novelty which may indeed attract people to the theatre, however, after two years of the implementation of the program a new rival may not have the same effect.
Error: exprience Suggestion: experience
Sentence: To illustrate the point, Apple inc with its iPhone has a strong association with the smartphones, they were the first company which has given people a phone without bottons, its rival company Nokia baldly believed that may create a similar product and as a result to distract customers from Apple's products, as the histroy has shown, the Nokia's assumption was fallacious.
Error: bottons Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: histroy Suggestion: history
Sentence: In our case, the repetion of the free performances in the Park may bring the same result as it did two years age.
Error: repetion Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In conlusion, the author of the recommendation asserts that the repetition of the program that implemented by the rival theater will attract new audience, however, he or she does not manage to give strong support for his or her conclusion.
Error: conlusion Suggestion: conclusion
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argument 1 -- not OK. read this:
'Over the past ten years, there has been a 20 percent decline in the size of the average audience at Classical Shakespeare Theatre productions. In spite of increased advertising, we are attracting fewer and fewer people to our shows, causing our profits to decrease significantly. We must take action to attract new audience members.'
suggested:
Maybe the ads worked very well and attracted enough new audience members, but the reason is that they can't keep the old members.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK but don't use external examples in argument essays.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 477 350
No. of Characters: 2291 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.673 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.803 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.673 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 163 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 19.525 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.416 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.617 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.158 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5