In this memo, the author claims that the government should reinforce education about bicycle safety to bicyclists rather than encouraging them to wear helmets. To support this view, the author points out that according to a study, a supposedly accident preventive solution by wearing helmets adversely resulted in increasing bicycle accidents rates compared to the rates of 10 years ago. Also, he/she reasons that wearing helmets let bicyclists to take more risks. Although the argument may be sound, nevertheless, a number of questions need to be answered in order to verify it.
Firstly, the author assumes that the surveys are credible enough to support general trend which can be refuted by lack of representativeness. Although the first one was presented as nationwide study, it is uncertain whether the survey participants are big enough to represent all bicyclists. In addition, there are no clue that the second study was also conducted as a nationwide study. Even if the studies appears to be representative enough to show general trend, the presented percentage of two different periods are questionable since they are just relative data. The author unfairly assumes that the current population of bicyclists who wears helmet significantly increased compared to 10 years ago. However, it is unknown whether current total population of bicyclists is as same as the past one. If current population of bicyclist declined significantly during the past 10 years, the number of 80 percent of them could be less than 35 percent of the past population. If true, the study’s suggestion that helmet wearers have increased could be wrong. Accordingly, based on above reasons, given statement that the increased accident rate is because of wearing helmets does not stand true all the time.
Moreover, the author assumes that whether wearing helmets or not is the sole determining factor deciding the cause of bicycle accidents. Yet, there may be multiple other factors that are influencing the outcome of accidents. For example, new domestic or abroad bicycle courses were introduced to bicyclists and some dangerous and unfamiliar courses could have contributed to increasing accident rates. In addition, not only helmets but also advanced bicycle equipment could have made bicyclists to take more risk by relying too much on tools. Perhaps they were not used to using them and could not have been in proper use. Thus, the author has to consider if there are any other alternatives to support the claim.
Even if above points were proven in the author’s favor, it still needs to be asked whether educating people about bicycle safety could significantly reduce the number of serious accidents. Even though wearing helmets could not have solved the fundamental problem, it doesn’t offset the benefit of wearing helmets as a whole. Helmets, designed to protect bicyclist’s head, is crucial in riding bicycle since if injured, it could lead to irreversible brain damage such as paralyzing arms and legs. For this reason, wearing helmets should be encouraged with safety education together to prevent higher accident rate.
In sum, the argument seems to be unpersuasive in its current form. To bolster it, further evidence pertaining survey’s representativeness, alternative accident causes, as well as the risk of not wearing helmets is crucial in determining the validity of the claim.
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Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK. In GRE, we accept all data or evidence are true. It is important to find out loopholes behind surveys or studies.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 540 350
No. of Characters: 2784 1500
No. of Different Words: 262 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.821 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.156 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.819 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 217 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 176 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 102 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 70 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.066 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.72 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.286 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.477 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.092 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 232, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('supposedly') instead an adjective, or a noun ('accident') instead of another adjective.
...r points out that according to a study, a supposedly accident preventive solution by wearing helmets ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 320, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'clues'?
Suggestion: clues
...l bicyclists. In addition, there are no clue that the second study was also conducte...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, moreover, nevertheless, second, so, still, thus, well, as to, for example, in addition, such as, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 55.5748502994 128% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2882.0 2260.96107784 127% => OK
No of words: 538.0 441.139720559 122% => OK
Chars per words: 5.35687732342 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.81610080973 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94952071963 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 272.0 204.123752495 133% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.505576208178 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 900.0 705.55239521 128% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.7417173263 57.8364921388 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.28 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.52 23.324526521 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.6 5.70786347227 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 15.0 6.88822355289 218% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.221748523845 0.218282227539 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0639944026999 0.0743258471296 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0508019877278 0.0701772020484 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.12789225991 0.128457276422 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.045695108723 0.0628817314937 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 14.3799401198 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.81 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.52 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 131.0 98.500998004 133% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.