The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Parkville Daily newspaper.
"Throughout the country last year, as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league sports, over 40,000 of these young players suffered injuries. When interviewed for a recent study, youth-league soccer players in several major cities also reported psychological pressure exerted by coaches and parents to win games. Furthermore, education experts say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities. Since the disadvantages outweigh any advantages, we in Parkville should discontinue organized athletic competition for children under nine."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In the argument, the author suggests that students in Parkville should stop organized sporting competitions because it harm on students' safety, mental development and academic works outweigh the advantages it brings about. Close scrutiny of the reasons provided by the author reveals no solid ground to support for the claim. In addition, as the author mentions no merit of these sport games, it is unjustified to say that disadvantages are more compelling than advantages they bring to students.
First, to support the argument, the author cites the fact that more than 40,000 of youth-leager sport players got injured in the past year. However, the language is ambiguous regarding how serious the injuries were. A simple angle twist and a severe bone break can both count as one injury incident. It is quite possible that most of the injuries in the statistics are slight ones, in which case it seems not provide very compelling grounds on the suggestion to discontinue the sport leagues.
Second, the author contends that another reason for ceasing the sport matches was that they induce stress in youth players. However, the survery on which he bases this claim was conducted on a limited range of "soccer players in several major cities". For one thing, we do not know if the result drawn from major cities can be generalized to all cities in Parkville. For another, the sample of soccer players may be not representative of all youth-league players, as there is possibility that only for sports as fierce as soccer would cause the pressure on players, but not other less competitive sports. Moreover, the author fails to illustrate that such psychological pressure to win is necessarily a harm rather than something good for players. Perhaps the experience in the sport team can help students develop stronger personality which is beneficial for their long-term development to be successful.
To further proves the argument, the author cites the education experts, who stated that practicing sports are taking time from academic activities. First we have no idea about the context and the exact words used by the "anonymous" experts here. But leaving that aside, we can examine the statement per se. For one thing, it is unfair to assume that practicing sports are occupying time that should have been devoted to academic work, rather than video games and Internet surfing. For another, it is quite possible that although taking up time, playing some sports between study sessions can actually boost the efficiency of students' study. Either possibility would render the statement unjustified, thereby arguing against the author's argument that practicing sports are harmful to the young players.
Lastly, the author did not mention a word about any benefit that playing in a sport league can bring to young students, before trying to weighing the disadvantages and advantages of it. Before going through a well-rounded consideration, the argument will remain biased and unreliable.
In conclusion, the reasons provided by the author supporting the suggestion of calling off the athletic competitions are problematic in themselves. In addition, the author seems to be biased and only take into consideration one side of the problem. Therefore, the argument is unjustified and unconvincing.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: However, the survery on which he bases this claim was conducted on a limited range of 'soccer players in several major cities'.
Error: survery Suggestion: survey
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argument 1 -- not OK. maybe it is serious or maybe not. so this is not a loophole.
Throughout the country last year, as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league sports, over 40,000 of these young players suffered injuries.
we may argue like:
among those 40,000 young players suffered injuries, how many of them are children below the age of nine? maybe pretty less than other ages.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
argument 4 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 528 350
No. of Characters: 2705 1500
No. of Different Words: 263 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.794 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.123 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.717 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 211 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 153 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 102 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.957 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.019 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.652 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.291 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.535 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 121, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'harms'?
Suggestion: harms
...anized sporting competitions because it harm on students safety, mental development ...
^^^^
Line 1, column 225, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'scrutiny'.
Suggestion: Scrutiny
...utweigh the advantages it brings about. Close scrutiny of the reasons provided by the author r...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...han advantages they bring to students. First, to support the argument, the auth...
^^^^
Line 7, column 740, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...njustified, thereby arguing against the authors argument that practicing sports are har...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, however, if, lastly, may, moreover, regarding, second, so, therefore, well, in addition, in conclusion, for one thing
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2810.0 2260.96107784 124% => OK
No of words: 528.0 441.139720559 120% => OK
Chars per words: 5.32196969697 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79356345386 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90745729759 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 276.0 204.123752495 135% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.522727272727 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 845.1 705.55239521 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.3548923164 57.8364921388 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.083333333 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.79166666667 5.70786347227 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 16.0 6.88822355289 232% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0768877325866 0.218282227539 35% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0219492777632 0.0743258471296 30% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0394618808164 0.0701772020484 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.040259104231 0.128457276422 31% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0269310018195 0.0628817314937 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 14.3799401198 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.58 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.68 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 132.0 98.500998004 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.