The following appeared in a memo from the marketing director of Top Dog Pet Stores."Five years ago, Fish Emporium started advertising in the magazine Exotic Pets Monthly. Their stores saw sales increase by 15 percent. The three Fish Emporium stores in Gul

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a memo from the marketing director of Top Dog Pet Stores.
"Five years ago, Fish Emporium started advertising in the magazine Exotic Pets Monthly. Their stores saw sales increase by 15 percent. The three Fish Emporium stores in Gulf City saw an even greater increase than that. Because Top Dog has some of its largest stores in Gulf City, it seems clear that we should start placing our own ads in Exotic Pets Monthly. If we do so, we will be sure to reverse the recent trend of declining sales and start making a profit again."

The marketing director of Top pet Stores recommends that they should start advertising in the magazine Exotic Pets Monthly. To justify the recommendation, the author cites the following facts. Advertising in this magazine during five years ago increases the sales of Fish Emporium by 15 percent, so this advertising can useful for Top pet Stores. In addition, people sales more fishes, so they like to have a dog as a pet. Scrutiny, each of these factors, however, reveals that none of them lend credible supports to the recommendation.

First, relies on the fact the advertising in the Exotic Pets Monthly was effective in sales of Fish Emporium, the author infers this approach will be useful for Doge Pet store. Nevertheless, it is not necessarily the case. In fact, increasing sales in Fish Emporium was due to others factors such as low price or even hire the experienced employees. Really, Exotic Pets Monthly may provide had offered the free transferring service. Without considering this possible scenario, the author cannot justifiably conclude that increasing sales were due to advertising in the magazine.

Second, the author claims that increasing the sales of fish shows people like to buy the dog as a pet. Nonetheless, it is entirely possible people do not like to have a dog at home because maintaining them at home is costly and cumbersome. Hence, since the author provides no information that shows people favor to have a dog; I cannot take the author conclusion seriously.

Second, the author mentions that advertising in the magazine was effective during five yeas ago, while there is no a warranty advertising in this magazine is useful now. Really, it is possible the scenario is different now, and the magazine hires new inexperienced employees and uses different methods for advertising, which are not effective as much as old approaches. In addition, this magazine may be the only way of advertising in this city during five years ago, while there are now many newspapers, television channels, or websites, which are more effective than magazines.

In sum, the argument is flawed logically and therefore unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen the argument, the author must provide all possible factors that increased the sales of Fish Emporium. In order to evaluate better the recommendation, we know more about peoples’ interested, and condition of city during five years ago.

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Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 113, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...ve during five yeas ago, while there is no a warranty advertising in this magazine...
^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ich are more effective than magazines. In sum, the argument is flawed logically...
^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['first', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'nevertheless', 'nonetheless', 'really', 'second', 'so', 'then', 'therefore', 'while', 'in addition', 'in fact', 'such as']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.282511210762 0.25644967241 110% => OK
Verbs: 0.12331838565 0.15541462614 79% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0807174887892 0.0836205057962 97% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0605381165919 0.0520304965353 116% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0224215246637 0.0272364105082 82% => OK
Prepositions: 0.12331838565 0.125424944231 98% => OK
Participles: 0.0156950672646 0.0416121511921 38% => Some participles wanted.
Conjunctions: 2.94571205938 2.79052419416 106% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0224215246637 0.026700313972 84% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.109865470852 0.113004496875 97% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0179372197309 0.0255425247493 70% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00896860986547 0.0127820249294 70% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2421.0 2731.13054187 89% => OK
No of words: 391.0 446.07635468 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 6.19181585678 6.12365571057 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44676510885 4.57801047555 97% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.375959079284 0.378187486979 99% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.281329923274 0.287650121315 98% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.23273657289 0.208842608468 111% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.158567774936 0.135150697306 117% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94571205938 2.79052419416 106% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 207.018472906 94% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.498721227621 0.469332199767 106% => OK
Word variations: 54.1370299942 52.1807786196 104% => OK
How many sentences: 19.0 20.039408867 95% => OK
Sentence length: 20.5789473684 23.2022227129 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.1418455396 57.7814097925 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.421052632 141.986410481 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5789473684 23.2022227129 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.842105263158 0.724660767414 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 3.58251231527 56% => OK
Readability: 48.7119396958 51.9672348444 94% => OK
Elegance: 2.04347826087 1.8405768891 111% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.521404807061 0.441005458295 118% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0934532489479 0.135418324435 69% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0696260634581 0.0829849096947 84% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.564058680321 0.58762219726 96% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.124824828199 0.147661913831 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.214036250503 0.193483328276 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.125085749689 0.0970749176394 129% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.327711720147 0.42659136922 77% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.112271730859 0.0774707102158 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.346482516106 0.312017818177 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.129626611362 0.0698173142475 186% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.33743842365 132% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.87684729064 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.82512315271 41% => OK
Positive topic words: 10.0 6.46551724138 155% => OK
Negative topic words: 6.0 5.36822660099 112% => OK
Neutral topic words: 1.0 2.82389162562 35% => OK
Total topic words: 17.0 14.657635468 116% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 70.83 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.25 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.