The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing. "Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high-quality wool fabric, we discontinued producti

In this memo, the vice president of men's clothing company recommends that the compant should restart to produce its alpaca over coat which stopped five years ago in that they have new wool fabric supplier. With the analyzation of competitor and the predication of the poetential market , the vice president concludes that the company profits will increase. While the statement is problematic ,we shoule evaluate them carefully.

To begin with, the vice president does not tell us whether the overcoat sold well in the past.After five years, with a new supplier, the conclusion that they will sell the coat well is not convincing. Because we do not know whether the company was famous by the overcoat five years ago. Even they was, after five years, no one will make the full promise that they will also thrive by the same prodution. Maybe the people would like to but other product to keep warm. So the vice president should make a survey of the market, be specific, at least they should know thether people like the alpaca overcoat.

In addition, without the new pattern ,no one will be awared that whether the people today will like the design of alpaca coat by the company.Clothes, always on behalf of fashion, maybey the company should open an exhibition of overcoat to make a test, the peers' act and the market' response will be significant to this new production.

What's more, given the vice president has analyzed the major competitor, which did not make alpaca overcoat anymore. I suggest the vice president should be more cautious by their major enemies' move. It is important to know whether they abadoned this prodcution. There is a high possbility that the market, or to be specific, the people don'r like the alpaca overcoat at all. Every manager in the fashion industry should take care of the taste of people, in that every one could be a potential buyer.So the prediciton by the vice president thah there will be high comsumer demands is not cogent without obvious evidence likewise.

Finally, the profits of a company depends on various of factors, so the company making more profits by this new coat is not convincing. Firstly, the vice president does not tell us the producing price per capita, given the price of clothes are increasing in these five years, the price of wool fabirc maybe increasing,too. Secondly, the vice president does not show us how about other clothes's sellling in this company, so we can not predict this profit's incresing merely by this new productions.

In conclusion, the evidence proving the new alpaca overoats's market is not convincing. The vice president does not tell us the telling reason to support his recommendation. I suggest the vice president should make an exhaustice survey to find out the response of the market and the consumers' taste. I believe the new design should be tested by professionals before entering the market.

Votes
Average: 4.9 (3 votes)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 286, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...the predication of the poetential market , the vice president concludes that the c...
^^
Line 1, column 392, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ease. While the statement is problematic ,we shoule evaluate them carefully. To...
^^
Line 3, column 95, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: After
...ther the overcoat sold well in the past.After five years, with a new supplier, the c...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 112, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... sold well in the past.After five years, with a new supplier, the conclusion that...
^^
Line 5, column 37, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... In addition, without the new pattern ,no one will be awared that whether the p...
^^
Line 5, column 142, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Clothes
...he design of alpaca coat by the company.Clothes, always on behalf of fashion, maybey th...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
... significant to this new production. Whats more, given the vice president has anal...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 498, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: So
...at every one could be a potential buyer.So the prediciton by the vice president th...
^^
Line 9, column 318, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , too
...he price of wool fabirc maybe increasing,too. Secondly, the vice president does not ...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, if, likewise, may, second, secondly, so, well, while, at least, in addition, in conclusion, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2410.0 2260.96107784 107% => OK
No of words: 488.0 441.139720559 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.93852459016 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70007681154 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61518134607 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.454918032787 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 752.4 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.22255489022 261% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.4970730868 57.8364921388 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.761904762 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.2380952381 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.71428571429 5.70786347227 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.159953312488 0.218282227539 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0557073095014 0.0743258471296 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0430089750707 0.0701772020484 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0984680923537 0.128457276422 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0546932570357 0.0628817314937 87% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.67 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.05 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 493 350
No. of Characters: 2340 1500
No. of Different Words: 215 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.712 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.746 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.434 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 168 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.476 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.093 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.524 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.564 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.146 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5