The author makes a conclusion based limited evidence, in fact only one to support his claim. In arriving at his or her conclusion the author has not examined alternate explanations which could account for the fact on which his or her claim is based. There could be many reasons for difference in cost of food destroyed, the author has not mentioned if the warehouse were of same capacity, store same type of food materials or if they are in same locality. Lack of these facts can give rise to alternate explanations.
First, since the author hasn’t given any evidence indicating the comparative size of warehouses serviced by these companies, it is likely that warehouse managed by Fly-Away Pest Control Company was significantly larger then that managed by Buzzof Pest Control Company. If this were true then it is highly possible for the warehouse managed by Fly-Away Pest Control to have more damaged food, because a larger warehouse would have more pest infection. And if amount of food destroyed per food item were calculated it could be less than the warehouse in Wintervale.
Even if we assume that the warehouses were identical and stacked with same quantity of food, they may not necessarily hold same type of food. For example if warehouse managed by Fly-Away Pest Control contained food materials like fruits which are costly and can easily be infected by pests. On the other hand warehouse in Wintervale might stock food material which are more resistant to pest like wheat, a pest infection in wheat is relatively slow. Hence can be easily identified before it does greater damage, also the cost of damage would be less when compared to fruits. This explanation is even supported by facts presented in the argument, and the author should have considered this explanation when framing his or her argument.
Also according to the passage Buzzoff Pest Control Company has been serving the Wintervale warehouse since years, because the warehouse has been under continuous pest control pest infection would be naturally less. However the author has not mentioned for how long Fly-Away Pest Control Company has been servicing the Palm City warehouse, but from authors tone it is clear that contract has been signed only recently. If this is the case then Fly-Away Pest Control would have to deal with much bigger pest problem, because the warehouse under them has not been under pest control before, hence pest infection might be really high in this warehouse then compared to that managed by Buzzoff Pest Control and could lead to higher cost of damage. This explanation is also supported by facts presented in the argument.
Finally, author's lack of compelling evidence can lead to many alternate explanations, and under present evidence the two warehouses cannot be compared. If the author wants to strengthen his or her argument then facts such as size, previous history and type of food materials stacked should also be mentioned. In current sate the argument can lead to various alternate explanations.
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Full essay evaluations
was significantly larger then
was significantly larger than
flaws:
No. of Words: 500 350
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK. Don't guess: 'because the warehouse under them has not been under pest control before,...', but you can refer: 'It is likely that the food were destroyed long ago but haven’t been noticed'
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 500 350
No. of Characters: 2477 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.729 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.954 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.532 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 171 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 140 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.316 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.041 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.789 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.36 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.572 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.17 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
ur introduction is a bit long but overall its perfect...
the 1st argument should have been broken down into 2 separate arg...starting wid even.....it would have been better
the arguments were sound but u sud have made it more precise.....it felt u were reapeting few things so....
the conclusion was perfect agn!!!
overall it was really good....jus concentrate on ur length...!!!