The following appeared in a memorandum from a dean at Omega University.
"Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by thirty percent. Potential employers apparently believe the grades at Omega are inflated; this would explain why Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors."
In this memorandum the author states that at the Omega University because of evaluation of professor by students overall grade averages have risen and students get higher grades.But, potential employees indicate that the university should stop the evaluation procedure because graduate students no longer like nearby university named Alpha University can get a better job. The close scrutiny of this arguments reveals that the author' assumptions based on doubtful facts.
First, the author of this arguments assumes that average grade and higher grades were assigned by the professor at the Omega University, since the evaluation procedure led to this high grades among students. The author fails to rolling all aspects of this fact, since it is entirely possible that university' students had a high potential in learning courses and concepts in the class. Or perhaps the average grades are associated to their accomplished assignments and projects.It is entirely possible that average grades are related to only a few numbers of students who are very smart ones not all students.
Second, graduates students cannot find descent jobs regarding to their field like student in the Alpha University, according to the writer. The writer fails to explain the diverse courses and programs in both universities and potential opportunities in organizations and factories. It is not irrational to indicate that programs and level of academic standards in both different which Alpha University mostly offers programs compatible to industry and required positions in the associations. Or perhaps the facilities like library and laboratories in the Omega University no longer satisfy the associations' needs.
Finally, the author suggests that to empower graduate students it is a must to removing the evaluation procedure in the Omega University to get a secure job in the future. the author' claim is unconvincing since it convey no categorical evidence about the questions and quality of evaluation process. It is possible that evaluation makes a great setting to selecting best professors and other faculty in the university and they find their own faults in teaching and research to enhance the academic level of graduate students.
To sum up, the author provide a series of doubtful assumptions regarding to authenticity of evaluation process of professors. Rolling out all aspects of this arguments reveals that the author evidence are weak to support the claims. To better assessment of these facts, the author should provide more information about offered programs in both universities and their facilities. I would also need more information about other staffs in the university like instructors.
Sentence: The close scrutiny of this arguments reveals that the author' assumptions based on doubtful facts.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and arguments
Sentence: First, the author of this arguments assumes that average grade and higher grades were assigned by the professor at the Omega University, since the evaluation procedure led to this high grades among students.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and arguments
Sentence: Second, graduates students cannot find descent jobs regarding to their field like student in the Alpha University, according to the writer.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to graduates and students
Sentence: Finally, the author suggests that to empower graduate students it is a must to removing the evaluation procedure in the Omega University to get a secure job in the future. the author' claim is unconvincing since it convey no categorical evidence about the questions and quality of evaluation process.
Description: The fragment it convey no is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace convey with verb, past tense
Sentence: To sum up, the author provide a series of doubtful assumptions regarding to authenticity of evaluation process of professors.
Description: The fragment author provide a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace provide with verb, past tense
Sentence: Rolling out all aspects of this arguments reveals that the author evidence are weak to support the claims.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and arguments
Description: The fragment the author evidence is not usually followed by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 419 350
No. of Characters: 2245 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.524 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.358 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.858 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 183 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 146 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 109 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 67 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.933 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.201 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.381 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.619 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5