The following appeared in a recommendation from the president of Amburg's Chamber of Commerce.
"Last October the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined within a month. The city of Amburg has recently begun police patrols on bicycles in its business district, but the rate of vandalism there remains constant. We should install high-intensity lighting throughout Amburg, then, because doing so is a more effective way to combat crime. By reducing crime in this way, we can revitalize the declining neighborhoods in our city."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author of the argument states that in order to to effectively reduce crime rates in the city of Amburg, high-intensity lighting should be installed. This recommendations is not completely cogent from a logical standpoint as it fails to address three specific pieces of evidence to convincingly develop a sound conclusion.
First, the speaker states that vandalism is reduced in the city of Belleville after the installation of the high-intensity lighting. From this, the author cannot conclude that this innovation will reduce all sorts of crime. Other crimes could include murder, rape, and embezzlement. Nowhere in the argument does it state that these crimes are also seeing declining rates of occurrence. Therefore, it is unintelligible to conclude that just because vandalism reduces, all other crimes experience a decrease. The author can strengthen the argument by stating that the lighting will specifically aid to prevent high rates of vandalism. Then, it is justified that there is a possibility that the installation of high-intensity lighting in Amburg will prevent a similar misdemeanor.
Second, the argument states that the high-intensity lighting is installed in the central business district of Belleville. The speaker then concludes that the lighting should be installed all throughout Amburg. This may not be necessary because there may be higher rates of vandalism confined to the central business district. There is an equivocal comparison between the two cities as the author s first referring to the central business district of Belleville, but then suggests that the lighting be incorporated all over the city of Amburg. The argument could be fortified if the author includes evidence that there are high rates of crime all throughout the city of Amburg, and not just in certain areas or neighborhoods.
Finally, it is stated that police patrol on bicycles was not effective in preventing vandalism in Amburg. Because of this inefficacious procedure, it cannot be concluded that the high-intensity lighting will work either. Amburg is a different city from Belleville, probably with different rates of crime. In addition, the police patrol method was not tested in Belleville, so it is unknown if that method would have worked first in that city too. Therefore, the author cannot conclude that high-intensity lighting will suddenly be effective in preventing vandalism, especially if police patrol proved to be unsuccessful. The author could strengthen the argument's conclusion by stating that there was an initial attempt to reduce vandalism with police patrol in Belleville, which then proved ineffective. In contrast, the second method of installing high-intensity lighting got the job done.
It is evident that from these missing pieces of evidence that the argument is not reasonably coherent. The author's lack of mention of vandalism versus other types of crimes, the differences between the two cities, and the discrepancy in incorporating police patrol in just one city highlights the flaws associated with this illogically formulated argument.
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Sentence: The author of the argument states that in order to to effectively reduce crime rates in the city of Amburg, high-intensity lighting should be installed.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a preposition
Suggestion: Refer to to and to
Sentence: This recommendations is not completely cogent from a logical standpoint as it fails to address three specific pieces of evidence to convincingly develop a sound conclusion.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to This and recommendations
Sentence: Because of this inefficacious procedure, it cannot be concluded that the high-intensity lighting will work either.
Error: inefficacious Suggestion: No alternate word
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argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not really. need to compare tow cities
argument 3 -- OK
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correct statements:
statement 1: Last October the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined within a month.
statement 2: The city of Amburg has recently begun police patrols on bicycles in its business district, but the rate of vandalism there remains constant.
statement 3: By reducing crime in this way, we can revitalize the declining neighborhoods in our city.
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suggested arguments:
argument 1: There may have been factors other than just the lighting that caused the decline in vandalism
argument 2: the arguer does not state whether the cities and business districts of Belleville and Amburg are similar to each other or very different.
argument 3: even assuming that the lighting would reduce crime, a reduction in crime does not automatically result in a revitalized neighborhood
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 476 350
No. of Characters: 2558 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.671 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.374 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.03 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 209 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 150 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 120 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 79 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.696 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.304 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.609 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.511 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.061 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5