The following is a letter to the head of the tourism bureau on the island of Tria.
"Erosion of beach sand along the shores of Tria Island is a serious threat to our island and our tourist industry. In order to stop the erosion, we should charge people for using the beaches. Although this solution may annoy a few tourists in the short term, it will raise money for replenishing, the sand. Replenishing the sand, as was done to protect buildings on the nearby island of Batia, will help protect buildings along our shores, thereby reducing these buildings' risk of additional damage from severe storms. And since beaches and buildings in the area will be preserved, Tria's tourist industry will improve over the long term."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the
argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The beach of the shores of Trial Island is at the risk of erosion. The author puts forward a solution which in nearby island, it has seemingly worked: replenishing the sands. In order to provide the budget, the author further proposes charging people who use the Tria’s beach. In order to lead us to the conclusion the author needs to provide several vital evidence.
First, the author needs to provide evidence suggesting that despite the annoying implementation, people will still come in significant numbers. It is possible that people become irritated toward coming to this beach as the charges might be high for them. If this is the case, since fewer people would come to the beach, we cannot say it for sure that the charges would help replenish the coast. Furthermore, it has to be evinced that the cost of replenishing the sands is not too high not to be provided by this method. Otherwise, with or without charging people the budget may not be sufficient to do this project.
Secondly, it is needed to be evinced that the two islands are experiencing the corresponding situations of beach erosion. In all likelihood the erosion in the Batia might be not serious and with only replenishing the sand the buildings could be protected. At the same time, the situation in Tria might be so grave that only by replenishing the sand the buildings would still be threatened by the erosion. It is also possible that buildings in Batia are farther to the beaches than do the buildings in the Tria. This also reduces the vulnerability of the first island and in turn making it incommensurable to what goes in Tria.
Finally, the evidence is needed to attest that merely by preserving the beach and buildings the tourist industry in Tria would improve over the long term. It is possible that the Tria beach is the home of many poisonous aquatic animals like jellyfish, or sharks might live near there. It is possible that the coast is so dirty of wastes that people are reluctant to go there. The safety of the police guards or the life-saving guards might not be sufficient in Tria. Therefore, in order to portray a successful future for the tourist industry in Tria, the author needs to have evidence showing that the all other alternatives are ruled out not to preclude the tourists from coming to that beach.
In short, as it is discussed, the author fails to support the solution of replenishing the sands of the shores of the Tria Island to protect the buildings and in turn augment the tourist visits. The lack of evidence renders the argument open to different explanations, thus it is defying any certain evaluation as the argument is replete with ambiguous points.
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Comments
Well, it is a correct word,
Well, it is a correct word, you may ignore it.
Full essay evaluations
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 463 350
No. of Characters: 2165 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.639 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.676 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.604 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 149 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.048 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.207 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.619 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.532 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.135 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
The word "incommensurable" is defined in Oxford American English dictionary as a regular adj. Why here it is underlined by a red mark as it is a wrong word?