The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
The statement asserts that new catering firm produces mainly so low fat and low calories meals that most of children are not satisfied with this recent change. This parent predicts that insisting on this company and menus will give more damage to eating habits of children. Nonetheless, there are some missing information in the assertion, hence, before taking any action, they should conduct some researches in order to observe whether these possible explanations are valid or not.
Firstly, the most relatable explanation is that these complaining children may have really unhealthy eating routines, thus, they cannot adapt such a low fat nutrition pattern. Most of parents, which are not aware of this vital issue and do not put much attention, give what their children want including hamburgers, sweeties and chocolate. However, there are immense number of studies show that most vitamin deficiencies rise from one sided sugar based nutritions. In this case, taking action in the aim of increasing enjoyable and fatty foods is definitely irrational.
Secondly, we are used to a general phenomenon that most parent are fond of healthy, clean and fresh foods instead of fatty ones, accordingly, this catering firm, Swift Nutritiond, has tried to introduce an appropriate menu for pleasure of children and parent expectantly. It is not logical to expect this firm to create a high fat and calorie menu unless they get any additional warning about this need.
Lastly, statement just adverts about their own children and his or her friends, as a result, we talk about a small percent and this is not enough for a decision of replacing a firm. For instance, merely %5 percent of their customers may be disappointed with the services but this is a negligible ratio in terms of progressing a firm. In modern world, most consumers are fan of complaining and spreading them through social media to disseminate, as a result, it is important to divide important ones.
My first recommendations is conducting a research on eating habits of children on this academy. Besides, they should add also an evaluation about quality of foods. After these, if there is still need for more enjoyable food with approval of parents, they should give a notice to this firm before replacing them.
In conclusion, all these possible explanations and fallacies considered, director of academy should dispute and follow these steps, then should reckon on giving one more chance for this catering to ameliorate.
- gre argument essay 50
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 101, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the children') or simply say ''most children''.
Suggestion: most of the children; most children
... so low fat and low calories meals that most of children are not satisfied with this recent chan...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 177, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'Most of', you should use 'the' ('Most of the parents') or simply say ''Most parents''.
Suggestion: Most of the parents; Most parents
...adapt such a low fat nutrition pattern. Most of parents, which are not aware of this vital issu...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 93, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ren and his or her friends, as a result, we talk about a small percent and this i...
^^
Line 9, column 40, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'research'.
Suggestion: research
... My first recommendations is conducting a research on eating habits of children on this ac...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, besides, but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, lastly, may, nonetheless, really, second, secondly, so, still, then, thus, for instance, in conclusion, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 41.0 28.8173652695 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2097.0 2260.96107784 93% => OK
No of words: 404.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.19059405941 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48327461151 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75551309495 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 232.0 204.123752495 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.574257425743 0.468620217663 123% => OK
syllable_count: 644.4 705.55239521 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.6055552381 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.0625 119.503703932 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.25 23.324526521 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.5 5.70786347227 201% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.119644042234 0.218282227539 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0418335047825 0.0743258471296 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0429450496548 0.0701772020484 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0655470102785 0.128457276422 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0418162341845 0.0628817314937 66% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 14.3799401198 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.12 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.1 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 108.0 98.500998004 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.