The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the article, the Board of Directors recommend that Monarch books open a cafe in its store, claiming that it would allow Monarch to attract more customers and compete better with Regal Books, which recently opened its own cafe. While this may be true, the argument is based on unsubstantiated claims and assumptions rife with holes. Several questions need to be answered before this recommendation can be implemented.
First, the directors claim that Monarch have been in business at this same location for more than twenty years and has a large customer base because of its popularity in large selection of books on all subjects. Why would a firm make changes to its present mode of operation when the existing one is working well? If Monarch Books has a large customer base, it could be because of the way it has operated its business; adding a cafe to the bookstore may likely chase away its existing customers.
Furthermore, the board of directors claims that opening the cafe will attract more customers without telling us how they arrived at the assumption. Suppose its present customers are not in support of adding a cafe to the store? If this is the case, then they may be deterred from coming to the bookstore. Monarch should administer a kind of questionnaire to the public including its present customers to weigh their opinion on the opening of a cafe before implementing this recommendation.
Additionally, the writer suggests, that the firm discontinues the children's book section in order to create space for the cafe, citing a decline in the percentage of the population under age ten by a recent national census. One would ask, when was this census conducted? If the census was conducted five years ago, then its result is not what the company would use to base its market analysis. The writer also failed to tell us the current population of children under age ten currently which would have been a major factor in determining whether or not the children's section should be closed. Perhaps an insight into the performance of the children's section would help to determine how reasonable it would be to close it and use the space for the cafe. What if the children's section controls a larger number of the customer base? What if the children's section contributes a larger chunk of the organisation's revenue? If the answer to these questions are true, then closing the children's section will be detrimental to the organisation.
Finally, the fact that Regal Books recently opened a cafe does not mean Monarch will have to do so at all cost. What works for Regal may not necessarily work for Monarch. It should put on a balance the advantages and disadvantages of opening a cafe before attempting to do so. It should consider carefully the trade-offs before upholding this recommendation.
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Sentence: If the answer to these questions are true, then closing the children's section will be detrimental to the organisation.
Error: organisation Suggestion: organization
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.668 4.7
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Avg. Sentence Length: 21.591 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.495 7.5
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Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5