The argument made by the author states that the Classen students are at a serious disadvantage in competition for post-college employment, stating that the university's burdensome breadth requirements are the cause of it. While it may be easy to accept this statement at first based on the information provided, the argument is flawed and to support such a claim, the author would need to take a more in depth approach.
Firstly, the author makes a comparison to many of the other top ranked schools. There are many facts that are missing in this claim and thus would be hard to justify this as true. There is no data of what courses are taken by the students in the top ranked schools. Are the courses very specific and advanced courses in their chosen field of study? Or do they include subjects that are considered breadth modules as well? The author also states that 15 percent of the time is spend taking such courses, it would be good to compare apple to apple and define the same percentage at the other top ranked schools. There is a chance that the percent at the other schools could be the same or perhaps higher and would void the author's claim. Hence, it is pertinent to include this type of data to fully evaluate this comparison.
Another possibility is that the schools' ranking could impact the hiring ability of the students from these schools. The author does not state if Classen is among the top-ranked school but instead uses the top-ranking schools as a comparison. There is a probability that Classen in fact may be one of the lower ranking schools, hence, this could impact the placement rate if employers prefer graduates from the top ranked schools.
Lastly, the type of breadth courses could be evaluated and compared against the other schools in the region. Many of these courses include soft skill training, much needed for professionals going out to work. Skills such as leadership, problem solving and teamwork often are the fundamentals of any industry. The author could further enhance the claim by providing information on such courses and whether they bring value to the student as well as the future employer. If a survey of such was performed to evaluate these responses from both the student and the employer, then the results could justify if such courses were burdensome and asses if they were value-adding to these students as well.
In summary, the author makes a strong claim that is not justified due to a large amount of missing data and information. If additional surveys were carried out and fair comparisons were made, the claim that taking additional breadth courses limit the employment ability could possibly be supported.
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Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 455 350
No. of Characters: 2181 1500
No. of Different Words: 202 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.619 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.793 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.517 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 154 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.252 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.531 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.069 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 334, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to field'
Suggestion: to field
...ic and advanced courses in their chosen field of study? Or do they include subjects t...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 477, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'spent'.
Suggestion: spent
...o states that 15 percent of the time is spend taking such courses, it would be good t...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 271, Rule ID: MAY_COULD_POSSIBLY[1]
Message: Use simply 'could'.
Suggestion: could
...th courses limit the employment ability could possibly be supported.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, if, lastly, may, so, then, thus, well, while, in fact, in summary, such as, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2231.0 2260.96107784 99% => OK
No of words: 455.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.9032967033 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61852021839 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58037890069 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.457142857143 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 675.0 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.6840836414 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.55 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.75 23.324526521 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.70786347227 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.153248327633 0.218282227539 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0483945125556 0.0743258471296 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0764925021076 0.0701772020484 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0973039072511 0.128457276422 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0723035907883 0.0628817314937 115% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.44 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.13 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.