"A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertisin

The author here is making a commensuration between the amount of sleep and to the success of firm of advertising executives. The author has taken up a recent study to prove his point that people who don’t require more than 6 hours sleep, have higher profit margin and faster growth. Though the survey seems convincing, the argument is lacking substantiate and rife with holes due to the following reasons.

Firstly, the author’s recent study of 300 males and females advertising executives hasn’t been mentioned as in how experienced the executives were. The people who required less than 6 hours sleep, might have had better resources and employees at work place for the firm to burgeon, rather than relating to sleep. May be the executives with profitable firms were more perceptive. The author didn’t mention about the working statistics of the firms and alleged that less amount of sleep would result in more profits. The author’s argument would have been cogent, had he mentioned the competent of each employee and the number of employees in their firms which is resulting is greater profit margin.

Moreover, the author’s assumption that employees should get less than 6 hours sleep as that of the executives in a flawed one. Employees of any company work not more than 12 hours at maximum and the amount of rest they take outside the office will not affect the outcome of the firm. May be the employers of the firm with greater profit worked for more hours than that of the firms with less profits. The author could support his study by mentioning the number of hours the employees of each firm worked and also, he could have mentioned what specific type of firms did the executives run, rather than mentioned in wide as advertising executives.

Most importantly, studied have shown that a person is more energetic and works efficiently if they get 7 to 8 hours of sleep. If this study in taken in to consideration, then the whole argument is a flawed one. Additionally, the author stated that the firms whose executives sleep for less than 6 hours had more profits but, he has not mentioned any statistics of proving his point. The author should have mentioned that profit margin between the two firms to strengthen his argument.

In conclusion, the author’s argument is lacking substantiate and is not cogent to come to the conclusion that the firms would burgeon if they hired employees who required less than 6 hours. The argument requires further study of different aspects of the firm and the details of the profits and employees has to be taken to draw any conclusions.

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Average: 5.4 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 328, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (May) must be used with a third-person verb: 'is'.
Suggestion: is
...eon, rather than relating to sleep. May be the executives with profitable firms we...
^^
Line 5, column 294, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (May) must be used with a third-person verb: 'is'.
Suggestion: is
...not affect the outcome of the firm. May be the employers of the firm with greater ...
^^
Line 5, column 393, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun profits is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
... more hours than that of the firms with less profits. The author could support his s...
^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'firstly', 'if', 'may', 'moreover', 'so', 'then', 'as to', 'in conclusion']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.251497005988 0.25644967241 98% => OK
Verbs: 0.157684630739 0.15541462614 101% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0658682634731 0.0836205057962 79% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0419161676647 0.0520304965353 81% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0219560878244 0.0272364105082 81% => OK
Prepositions: 0.13373253493 0.125424944231 107% => OK
Participles: 0.0459081836327 0.0416121511921 110% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.74907564827 2.79052419416 99% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0239520958084 0.026700313972 90% => OK
Particles: 0.00199600798403 0.001811407834 110% => OK
Determiners: 0.111776447106 0.113004496875 99% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0179640718563 0.0255425247493 70% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0139720558882 0.0127820249294 109% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2629.0 2731.13054187 96% => OK
No of words: 441.0 446.07635468 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.96145124717 6.12365571057 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58257569496 4.57801047555 100% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.340136054422 0.378187486979 90% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.233560090703 0.287650121315 81% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.170068027211 0.208842608468 81% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.133786848073 0.135150697306 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74907564827 2.79052419416 99% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 207.018472906 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.410430839002 0.469332199767 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 44.6086060205 52.1807786196 85% => OK
How many sentences: 18.0 20.039408867 90% => OK
Sentence length: 24.5 23.2022227129 106% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.0123814488 57.7814097925 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 146.055555556 141.986410481 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.5 23.2022227129 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.611111111111 0.724660767414 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 3.58251231527 84% => OK
Readability: 47.8560090703 51.9672348444 92% => OK
Elegance: 1.94594594595 1.8405768891 106% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.601686573064 0.441005458295 136% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.128658845269 0.135418324435 95% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0763357856369 0.0829849096947 92% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.625367100717 0.58762219726 106% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.11900683238 0.147661913831 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.304656767259 0.193483328276 157% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.125947691821 0.0970749176394 130% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.571764361041 0.42659136922 134% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0775991888463 0.0774707102158 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.477316523851 0.312017818177 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0733919747868 0.0698173142475 105% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.33743842365 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.87684729064 29% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.82512315271 62% => OK
Positive topic words: 12.0 6.46551724138 186% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 5.36822660099 37% => OK
Neutral topic words: 2.0 2.82389162562 71% => OK
Total topic words: 16.0 14.657635468 109% => OK

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Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations to cover all aspects.