When XYZ lays off employees, it pays Delany Personnel Firm to offer those employees assistance in creating résumés and developing interviewing skills, if they so desire. Laid-off employees have benefited greatly from Delany's services: last year those who used Delany found jobs much more quickly than did those who did not. Recently, it has been proposed that we use the less expensive Walsh Personnel Firm in place of Delany. This would be a mistake because eight years ago, when XYZ was using Walsh, only half of the workers we laid off at that time found jobs within a year. Moreover, Delany is clearly superior, as evidenced by its bigger staff and larger number of branch offices. After all, last year Delany's clients took an average of six months to find jobs, whereas Walsh's clients took nine."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In a memo which appeared at XYZ company, the author strongly condemns the proposal of using less expensive Walsh Personnel Firm in place of Delany as Delany is a far better Firm then the Walsh. He backs his statement by recalling something that happened 8 years ago when XYZ used Walsh, only half of the employees were able to find jobs. He further advocates his statement by assuming that since Deley has a bigger staff and larger number of branch office it is clearly superior and since clients of Delany's took only six months to find a job compared to 9 months of its counterpart. However, to make his argument strong he still needs some evidence.
Firstly, the author assumes that what happened 8 years ago would repeat itself. It might be the case that Walsh as a firm was still establishing itself eight years ago and since then have made substantial progress in the market as eight years is a long time. It is also possible that eight years ago was a time of recession and job opportunity was significantly reduced. To make his argument stronger the author needs to provide evidence that Walsh was an equally big company and statistical data of the job availability eight years ago. Without this evidence, the author doesn't sound pursuing.
Furthermore, the assumption that just because Delany has more employees and a larger number of branch offices is better than Walsh. This assumption is unwarranted as no evidence is provided to support it. The author needs to provide statistical data about the number of employees in the company and even if Delany has more employees it doesn't mean that they provide better services. The author needs to provide customer reviews of both the companies to further advocate his assumption. The argument doesn't hold without the above evidence.
Finally, the author's assumption that Delany's client took only six months to find a job, whereas Walsh's clients took nine imply's Delany is superior is completely flawed as no evidence advocates it. For instance, it might be possible that Walsh tries to find it's clients the job they desire and also the best paying whereas Delany persuades his client's to take the first offer they receive. If the above is true it is understandable why average Walsh's client takes more time to find a job. The author needs to provide statistical data about the average salary clients of both the company get and also a survey about the client's satisfaction with the firm to make his argument strong.
Concluding, the argument to deter his company from opting Walsh is flimsy and unconvincing as it relies a lot on unwarranted assumptions. The author needs to provide statistical data and report of the survey's from authentic sources about the above-discussed points to make his argument sound more pursuing. However, as it stands the argument is flawed and fails to advocate the claims.
- LOR 50
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 488 350
No. of Characters: 2346 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.7 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.807 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.575 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 171 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.238 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.851 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.347 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.548 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 573, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... ago. Without this evidence, the author doesnt sound pursuing. Furthermore, the ass...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 337, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...nd even if Delany has more employees it doesnt mean that they provide better services....
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 487, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ies to further advocate his assumption. The argument doesnt hold without the above ...
^^^
Line 5, column 500, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...r advocate his assumption. The argument doesnt hold without the above evidence. Fin...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 14, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...out the above evidence. Finally, the authors assumption that Delanys client took onl...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 619, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'clients'' or 'client's'?
Suggestion: clients'; client's
...company get and also a survey about the clients satisfaction with the firm to make his ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, so, still, then, whereas, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 12.9520958084 23% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 28.8173652695 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2384.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 485.0 441.139720559 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.91546391753 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69283662038 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60938078958 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.426804123711 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 738.0 705.55239521 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.6462961881 57.8364921388 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.523809524 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0952380952 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.52380952381 5.70786347227 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.12760784985 0.218282227539 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0407302828262 0.0743258471296 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0470375589576 0.0701772020484 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0755998005928 0.128457276422 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.036943997999 0.0628817314937 59% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.55 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.51 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 98.500998004 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 17.0 12.3882235529 137% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.