The following appeared in a health newsletter.
"A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that number is nearly 80 percent. Another study, however, suggests that during the same ten-year period, the number of bicycle-related accidents has increased 200 percent. These results demonstrate that bicyclists feel safer because they are wearing helmets, and they take more risks as a result. Thus, to reduce the number of serious injuries from bicycle accidents, the government should concentrate more on educating people about bicycle safety and less on encouraging or requiring bicyclists to wear helmets."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The argument with conclusion that people take more risks as a result of wearing helmets, and recommendation that the government should concentrate more on educating people about bicycle safety, less on wearing helmets is weak. It is based on two studies. However, there are still many missed assumptions, as explained in the following paragraphs.
First, the assumption that the quality of the roads is the same as, or even better than that quality of the roads was ten years ago. If the two gualities are the same, then the comparison will possibly have some sense. On the other hand, providing the quality of the roads is bad, mush rougher than it of ten years ago, perhaps for bad enhancement of the ineffective government, it is more likely to be the reason of more accidents, other than wearing helmets.
Moreover, it should be includeed the assumption that the traffic condition is still the same as it was. The situation of traffics often changes over time. If, as in some case, the condition happen to be the same, or be better by the improvement done by the government, the conclusion will be strengthened. However, if the circumstance is even worse, resulting from the new industrial areas or popularity of cars with high speed limit, then it may be the element of high accidents rate, which weaken the conclusion.
What's more, the assumption that people will take risks with the feeling of safety. It might be usually the case as in teenages as well as some reckless adults. However, it is also likely that the sense of safety makes people feel more confidence and relieved such that they can take their own time, riding at ease and slowly. With each decision done with confidence and the resulted discernment, the accidents will likely to decrease, which makes wearing helmets anything but the reason.
In the end, the argument is rather weak. However, if the above three arguments are included, it will be greatly reinforced. Therefor, it is hard to be accepted. The reason for the increasing rate of accidents will probably not be wearing helmet, and the recommendation is useless, ridiculous in fact.
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Sentence: If, as in some case, the condition happen to be the same, or be better by the improvement done by the government, the conclusion will be strengthened.
Description: The fragment condition happen to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace happen with verb, past tense
Sentence: Moreover, it should be includeed the assumption that the traffic condition is still the same as it was.
Error: includeed Suggestion: included
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.284 0.35
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 359 350
No. of Characters: 1704 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.353 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.747 4.6
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No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.944 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.606 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.722 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.284 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.53 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.055 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5