The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company.
"According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year. Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The arugment recommends that the lack of audience is irrelevant to their quality of movie, but is more relevant to their the inadequate budget in campagin and suggests to invest more money on advertising. A casual reading seems convincing, but a closer inspection brings out some loopholes in the argument. Author seems to be looking at the issue with narrow scope. Instead of making conclusion based on the little data that he has, author should try to find more facts.
First, the author claimed that the number of people attened the movies increased comparing last year. Yet author did not provide the explicit data and specify why there was a increase. If the number of people watched the films were not significantly different from last year, the increase might occurred by chance. If people were accompanied with their friends or families, then no matter how much money company put in the advertising, there would not be any significant increase. And it is also likely that people have more time to watch the films than last year and is irrelevant to the advertising . So author need to know the specific data and the reason that people watch the Screen-produced movies.
Second,the argument indicates that the markeing department conducted a survey targeting on people's feedback on the movies and the results were generally positive. However, the suvey is only targeting on small group of people, and so the results is not representative. It is likely the group of peole who filled the survey liked the movies they watched. There might be others who did not have chance to give feedbacks but disliked the films and it caused severe errors on the results. If two or three more other groups of people did not like the movie, then the results of the marketing department obtained would be inaccurate. More precisely, to decide the popularity of a movie producer, author need to focus on the feedbacks of general movies.
In conclusion, the recommendation is based on several unproven assumptions and unconvincing evidence. Although author provided corresponding survey, the survey did not ask viewers to provide the relevant feedback which is categorical to the decision of increasing the budget on advertising.
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Sentence: The arugment recommends that the lack of audience is irrelevant to their quality of movie, but is more relevant to their the inadequate budget in campagin and suggests to invest more money on advertising.
Description: The tag a determiner, possessive is not usually followed by the
Suggestion: Refer to their and the
Sentence: If the number of people watched the films were not significantly different from last year, the increase might occurred by chance.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to might and occurred
Sentence: The arugment recommends that the lack of audience is irrelevant to their quality of movie, but is more relevant to their the inadequate budget in campagin and suggests to invest more money on advertising.
Error: campagin Suggestion: campaign
Error: arugment Suggestion: argument
Sentence: First, the author claimed that the number of people attened the movies increased comparing last year.
Error: attened Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Second,the argument indicates that the markeing department conducted a survey targeting on people's feedback on the movies and the results were generally positive.
Error: markeing Suggestion: marketing
Sentence: However, the suvey is only targeting on small group of people, and so the results is not representative.
Error: suvey Suggestion: survey
Sentence: It is likely the group of peole who filled the survey liked the movies they watched.
Error: peole Suggestion: people
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
Sentence Length SD: 5.727 7.5
Read this link to understand What is sentence length SD:
http://www.testbig.com/question/questions-about-essay-e-rater
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 367 350
No. of Characters: 1814 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.377 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.943 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.691 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.389 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.727 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.314 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.515 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5