please evaluate my argument essay

ARGUMENT ESSAY TOPIC:
A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual’s levels of stimulation. They study showed the in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the returns of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had several offspring.

ARGUMENT ESSAY:

Based on the study conducted on eighteen rhesus monkeys, author of this argument claims that birth order has effect on individual’s levels of stimulation and he also assumes that, it will be the case among humans. When rhesus monkey encounters an unfamiliar monkey, first born infant monkeys stimulation level of cortisol is twice compared to their younger siblings. Even in first born humans, relatively higher level of cortisol stimulation is exhibited because of this author assumes that, he can compare human and rhesus monkey. However the conclusion drawn by the author is not justified with proper information.

Major flaw made by author of this argument is, without having any scientific information, he has assumed that characteristics exhibited by rhesus monkey is same for the humans also. First of all, author has to prove biologically rhesus monkey exhibit same characteristics, as humans do. Only after that he should have proceeded his study.

Author did not mention anything about habitat of eighteen rhesus monkey. Whether they belong to the same habitat or different. Whether the food consumed by this is same or different. These informations are more important because humans live in different environments and food they consume is completely different, it is totally insane to say that humans also exhibit high level of cortisol stimulation based on the study conducted on just eighteen rhesus monkey’s.

In the above study, firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol than their siblings, when rhesus monkey encounters with unfamiliar monkey. This is not the case in humans because before having sex, humans will definitely know each other very well. One more flaw in this argument is author has said that first born humans produce relatively high levels of cortisol. He has not mentioned exact quantity or quantity relating to the rhesus monkey stimulation level.

Summing it up, author should have started the study on rhesus monkey, after biologically, resemblance is proved and study should be conducted on considerable number of monkeys and on monkeys belonging to different environments and different food habits. Only if the study is conducted, as mentioned and supported with proper proof, conclusions can be made.