Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean
While it may be true that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean, the argument presented is not convincing. The writer needs to shed more light on the evidence in the claims and as well, the data analysed in the studies conducted as quoted in the argument.
The author began by stating that the woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea which led to the assumption that the baskets were uniquely Palean. He however, failed to state the source, nature and coverage of the study that led to the observation quoted. He also needs to specify the number of villages covered in the study and the distance between them and Palea. If only a few villages were covered in that study, then the statement will not be valid. Also, an insight on travelers that visited Palea during that period, and as well, the kind of things they carried along with them will prove helpful in establishing the origin of the basket. What if a traveler from a village that was not covered in the study brought the basket to Palea? This obviously would mean that the baskets were not truly Palean.
To counter the initial claim, the writer cites an archaeological discovery of a similar basket in Lithos - an ancient city that is a river away from Palea - leading to the claim that the baskets were not uniquely Palean. The writer needs to tell us about the similarities between the basket found in Palea and the one found in Lithos. He needs to provide deep insight on the distinctive patterns found on the basket that was discovered in Palea and this one that was found in Lithos.
Furthermore, the write states that no Palean boat was found during the archaeological discovery and since Paleans would have only crossed by boat, therefore, the baskets were not uniquely Palean. What if the Paleans have other means through which they can cross to Lithos? What if they swam across the Brim River? What if they crossed using boats belonging to the Lithos? The writer needs to provide more evidence that would show that the Paleans can only cross to Lithos by means of Palean boats.
Finally, the writer needs to tell us more about the activities of the Paleans. It could be possible that the Paleans used the basket in fishing and as such, one lost during fishing can be carried across to the village of Lithos by wave.
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Sentence: To counter the initial claim, the writer cites an archaeological discovery of a similar basket in Lithos - an ancient city that is a river away from Palea - leading to the claim that the baskets were not uniquely Palean.
Error: archaeological Suggestion: archeological
Sentence: Furthermore, the write states that no Palean boat was found during the archaeological discovery and since Paleans would have only crossed by boat, therefore, the baskets were not uniquely Palean.
Error: archaeological Suggestion: archeological
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 423 350
No. of Characters: 1955 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.535 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.622 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.338 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 44 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.263 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.083 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.346 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.569 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.206 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5