138. Some people believe that competition for high grades motivates students to excel in the classroom. Others believe that such competition seriously limits the quality of real learning. 事实
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.
Some people assert that competition can motivate students to get a better academic performance in the classroom, while others believe that competition seriously impede students’ real learning. I agree with both ideas and would go further to say that: moderate competition contributes to the better academic results, but excessive competition proved counterproductive. Furthermore, students should regard competition as means of self-stimulating and self-improvement and competition itself should not become the focus of attention.
To start with, I agree with the view that competition for high grades stimulates students’ better academic performance, and more precisely moderate competition rather than over-competition. Competition is part of human nature and throughout history humans constantly compete not only for material things, but also for glories and honors. In students’ mind high grades are such things and they occupy a sacred place because they equate to a better ranking, teachers’ praise, parents’ expectations and classmates’ admiring. All students want to get the highest score and win the first place among classmates. This goal encourages students to work harder and devote themselves wholeheartedly in studies. Students who obtained the first place, will keep working hard to save the leading place. Students who failed this time, will strive hard to make greater process next time. Hence, the competition among students promotes a strong learning atmosphere, which improves all students’ academic records.
That being said, competition might play a counterproductive role, just as other people contend, that limit the quality of real learning if students fail to deal with the negative aspects brought by excessive competition. These negative effects include mental and physical diseases. Stress, anxiety, anger, many students claimed that they have experienced emotional depression while they are preparing for the competition. Sometimes, mental pressure results in physical diseases, such as insomnia, decrease in immunity. More extremely, students improperly handling these pressures tend face at more disastrous problems, such as drug addiction. A recent report on students’ learning habits disclosed that many students are taking “Smart drugs” to enhance their abilities of memory and reflection, thus they can obtain a better result in Gaokao. It turns out that “Smart drugs” is a soft drug and students taking them frequently will be addicted. It is inadvisable even illegal to win a temporary competition by taking drugs. Although people may argue that competition itself is not to blame, it is true that competition do have negative effects on students especially when it is too excessive for students to handle.
As both parts have reasons, and competition is a double-edged sword. Readers might confuse about the nature of competition, about the limit between its advantages and disadvantages and about the right attitude towards it. First, I tend to say that the nature of competition is a process and not a result, is a mirror, by looking into which students can show their weaknesses and strengths. Second, there is not a clear line between its positive and negative sides, and everyone has their own balance, but the minimum threshold is that competition itself should never be the focus of attention. Prioritizing competition for higher grades over other things like health, families, friendship and moral standards, produces regrettable results. Third, how can young students properly deal with competition and its byproducts? My suggestion is always thinking a bigger picture. It is important for students to keep in mind that competition for higher grades only belongs to the particular period of school times, and in contrast cooperation between colleagues, negotiation with clients will become the mainstream of lasting working times.
To conclude, my stance aligns with both sides of views and tend to associate two sides into one argument that moderate competition kindles students’ learning passion, but excessive competition harms students’ mental and physical health. By thinking competition as a process and carrying a bigger picture of life, students could cultivate in themselves a right attitude towards competition.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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2019-11-29 | luckystar1941 | 83 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1028, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...es all students' academic records. That being said, competition might play ...
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Line 5, column 1241, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s too excessive for students to handle. As both parts have reasons, and competit...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, hence, if, look, may, second, so, third, thus, while, in contrast, such as, it is true, to start with, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.5258426966 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.4196629213 129% => OK
Conjunction : 30.0 14.8657303371 202% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.3162921348 177% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 33.0505617978 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 58.6224719101 118% => OK
Nominalization: 41.0 12.9106741573 318% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3710.0 2235.4752809 166% => OK
No of words: 644.0 442.535393258 146% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.76086956522 5.05705443957 114% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.0375743251 4.55969084622 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.19793754183 2.79657885939 114% => OK
Unique words: 329.0 215.323595506 153% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.510869565217 0.4932671777 104% => OK
syllable_count: 1125.0 704.065955056 160% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 6.24550561798 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 8.0 1.77640449438 450% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 20.2370786517 148% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.2664726423 60.3974514979 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.666666667 118.986275619 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4666666667 23.4991977007 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.06666666667 5.21951772744 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 5.13820224719 195% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.307098456191 0.243740707755 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0805898693645 0.0831039109588 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0726481450712 0.0758088955206 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.182715621125 0.150359130593 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0519102385692 0.0667264976115 78% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.4 14.1392134831 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.8420337079 85% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.1743820225 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 16.13 12.1639044944 133% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.94 8.38706741573 107% => OK
difficult_words: 174.0 100.480337079 173% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 11.8971910112 151% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.