The concept of cooperation rather than competition prepares young people for leadership
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
Education, especially what must be taught and how, is of vital concern to society. Some visionaries, including the speaker, speak of a world in which cooperation rather competition leads to more prosperous production of the young with strong leadership. I agree with the speaker that young people are well prepared for leadership within a framework of cooperation. However, I am not deaf to the merits of competition. It is erroneous to conclude that a sense of competition is worthless, and I, therefore, insist that concepts of both cooperation and competition must be weighed appropriately.
To begin with, one reason for my fundamental agreement with the speaker is as follows: in order for the young to acquire a sense of leadership, the notion of cooperation must be made clear. Simply put, leadership exists among people in an organization where the members share common ultimate goals and work cooperatively for the achievement of these goals. Although examples can be presented in a plethora of ways, two that aptly illustrate this point involve the areas of business and politics.
Consider first a case of leadership in a field of business. A company is established in an effort to make profit, and it is usually composed of members who have shared objectives. Especially for small start-up companies, cooperation rather than competition is required to fight against competitors. Much the same kind of statement can be made in the case of politics. Each member of a certain political sect is united because they share the same fundamental policy toward politics. In order to refute or sometimes conquer other parties, they must unite and cooperate rather than rail against each other. It is clear as shown by these two examples that cooperation is important.
I believe, as stated above, that teaching a sense of cooperation is the very foundation upon which the young effectively acquire a sense of leadership. However, I insist that one must embrace the principle that a combination of cooperation and competition is required for the enrichment of leadership in the young. It is important that each individual learns the fact that both cooperation and competition constitute our form of society, and bereft of one of the two, no full-fledged leadership can be fostered, let alone accomplished.
Why might this be so? The simple answer is this: no longer does it make sense to think of the notions of cooperation and competition as separate entities, for they coexist in society, inextricably bound with each other. If one were to return to the business example discussed above, a rationale of my assertion becomes clearer.
Any company, whether it is a gigantic automobile company or a small manufacturing factory, operate their business in an environment in which a certain degree of competition exists. To sell their own products, they must outmaneuver competitors. Reduction of prices, improvement of qualities, and development of new technologies to name a few; there are various ways by which they can excel in the field of their business, but one thing the leader of the company should keep in mind is that their tactics must be deployed in full consideration of competition among competitors, as well as cooperation that exist within the organization.
In sum, instilling a concept of cooperation into young people for the purpose of leadership may look persuasive and true to life. This is true and on this point, I agree with the speaker. However, focusing solely on the importance of cooperation is fallacious within the framework of a broader perspective, especially in a pluralistic society where monistic approaches fail to solve a given problem. I do not think instilling a sense of cooperation is sufficient in helping young people acquire a sense of leadership], nor do I think that [instilling a sense of competition alone is adequate. Focusing exclusively on a sense of cooperation maybe sustainable in the short run, but it is not viable in the long run.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 13, column 517, Rule ID: EN_UNPAIRED_BRACKETS
Message: Unpaired symbol: '[' seems to be missing
...ung people acquire a sense of leadership], nor do I think that [instilling a sens...
^
Line 13, column 540, Rule ID: EN_UNPAIRED_BRACKETS
Message: Unpaired symbol: ']' seems to be missing
...nse of leadership], nor do I think that [instilling a sense of competition alone ...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, look, may, so, still, therefore, well, i think, kind of, as well as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.5258426966 164% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.4196629213 113% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 14.8657303371 128% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.3162921348 177% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 33.0505617978 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 103.0 58.6224719101 176% => OK
Nominalization: 42.0 12.9106741573 325% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3353.0 2235.4752809 150% => OK
No of words: 652.0 442.535393258 147% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.14263803681 5.05705443957 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.05314661074 4.55969084622 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.12610663909 2.79657885939 112% => OK
Unique words: 303.0 215.323595506 141% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.46472392638 0.4932671777 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1070.1 704.065955056 152% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 6.24550561798 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.77640449438 394% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.2370786517 143% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 70.9307075915 60.3974514979 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.620689655 118.986275619 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4827586207 23.4991977007 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.68965517241 5.21951772744 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 4.97078651685 141% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 10.2758426966 175% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.239607365348 0.243740707755 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.06407418493 0.0831039109588 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0520526396459 0.0758088955206 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.126845625107 0.150359130593 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0480520090682 0.0667264976115 72% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.1392134831 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.8420337079 101% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.83 12.1639044944 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.51 8.38706741573 101% => OK
difficult_words: 156.0 100.480337079 155% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.8971910112 88% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.