Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.

Essay topics:

Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.

By saying that educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed, the speaker asserts that role of educators is leading students to promising fields regardless of their own thought. In some sense, it is true that the purpose of education is helping students to succeed in terms of the material considering of our society which want us to have a lot of money as much as we can. In my opinion, however, the success of lives is not limited to abundance in materials and even if one is abundant in materials, he/she can be unhappy.
Of course, few would disagree that we cannot live on only our interest or talents in the capitalism society. After having enough income or materials, one could seek his own interest, ideal or talents. For example, Because Darwin was inherited lots of money from his father, without a certain job or income, he could focus on research about organisms. As a result, you know, He could write ‘Origin of Species’ and achieved great feats. This implies that some degree of material precedes seeking one’s interest, ideal or talents.

However, this does not necessarily mean that an individual’s interest or talents could be ignored when he considers his career. When it comes to people who are unhappy or even undergo mental disease, because of boring and meaningless work in their workplace. In Korea, there are many people who move to the rural region from big cities after quitting their jobs, even though, they have had professional, high-income occupations which most people envy. They often said they feel themselves like only components of a factory, which repeat the same and meaningless, even annoying work every day, every month, for many years. This shows that how much one’s own talents are important in determining what they will do in the future.

Moreover, there have been many people who are very poor but other people respect them and call their lives succeeding lives. For example, people who work for the common good in NGO or, following their own creeds, help starving people in ‘the third world’ without any reward are not disparaged as poor or incompetent people rather than call them great people or, even ‘saints’ whom God sent us to show his love. This implies that we cannot evaluate the success of one’s life with how much his or her property is.

To summarize, in spite of general belief that material is central to evaluate one’s life or an essential part of living, in terms of cases that rich life is a sufficient condition of happiness or the criterion of succeeded life is not restricted to affluence of material, I cannot fully agree that the final purpose of education is helping make students wealthy.

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Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 6, column 219, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[5]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to starve' or 'starve'.
Suggestion: to starve; starve
...GO or, following their own creeds, help starving people in 'the third world' w...
^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 509, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...the success of one's life with how much his or her property is. To summarize...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, moreover, so, third, for example, of course, you know, as a result, in my opinion, in spite of, it is true

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.4196629213 89% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 14.8657303371 128% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 11.3162921348 194% => OK
Pronoun: 51.0 33.0505617978 154% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 62.0 58.6224719101 106% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 12.9106741573 39% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2347.0 2235.4752809 105% => OK
No of words: 468.0 442.535393258 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.01495726496 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65116196802 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76378708775 2.79657885939 99% => OK
Unique words: 253.0 215.323595506 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.540598290598 0.4932671777 110% => OK
syllable_count: 732.6 704.065955056 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 6.24550561798 192% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.10617977528 193% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 12.0 4.38483146067 274% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 23.0359550562 117% => OK
Sentence length SD: 77.5006194863 60.3974514979 128% => OK
Chars per sentence: 138.058823529 118.986275619 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.5294117647 23.4991977007 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.29411764706 5.21951772744 140% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.236597607534 0.243740707755 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0763218455984 0.0831039109588 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.161679037237 0.0758088955206 213% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.142853079982 0.150359130593 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.178599288117 0.0667264976115 268% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 14.1392134831 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 48.8420337079 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.1743820225 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 12.1639044944 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.75 8.38706741573 104% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 100.480337079 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 11.8971910112 160% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.2143820225 114% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.