educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.
The statement asserts that it is incumbent upon the educational institutions to dissuade the students from following a field of study in which there is little possibility for their success. Despite the fact that every educational institution should have experts for student to consult with, I strongly disagree with the intervention of the educational institutes in the destiny of students.
First and foremost, pursuing a field of study is a personal matter and any interfering would be equal to infringement of the privacy of students. This “responsibility” is not for the educational organizations to take. When such organizations dissuade one from following a field, then comes the part that they introduce the other fields to pursue. Now, if the persuaded student became unsuccessful in the field advised by the institute, will the institute be answerable for the failure of that person? Students should themselves decide what to study because any failure or any triumph is for them and institutions should not intervene.
Moreover, no one can ascertain that students will not be successful in following a field whether to dissuade them. Even the courses that the students himself/herself do not find them proportional to their future, come in handy. Consider Steve Jobs. He points out that if the calligraphy classes were not attended by him, the “Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts”. At the beginning, even Steve Jobs knew that he will not be a successful calligrapher but the course benefited him in an entirely different way. Therefore, No one _ even the technology’s visionary, Steve Jobs_ could not certainly tell about the future of a person, whether to discourage or persuade him/her to study a field.
Thirdly, think about the negative effects of this act on academies’ business. By trying to dissuade students, academies make them inconvenient. Following that, students prefer to go to other places to pursue what they want, without anyone deciding instead of them. The academies would be empty of the students and many of them would verge on the bankruptcy.
Finally, What I have mentioned primarily should not be overgeneralized; institution should be concerned about the future of an individual, however, they should meet such concerns in terms of some advice and allow the student to do what he or she discerns as proper, even if the choice seems wrong. With this approach nor the students lack a consultant nor would their privacy be trespassed.
In short, it is the students who should choose the fields to study. In order to show them that a field of study “may” not be proper, the best institutions can do is giving the students some advice, not insisting on dissuading the students.
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With this approach nor the students lack a consultant nor would their privacy be trespassed.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
flaws:
The fourth paragraph is a little bit away of the topic.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 450 350
No. of Characters: 2237 1500
No. of Different Words: 217 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.606 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.971 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.865 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 157 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.429 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.854 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.524 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.31 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.557 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.177 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5