Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Currently, it is debatable whether formal education tends to restrain people’s minds and sprits. Some people hold a view that formation education rather set them free since through various experience in school, people can ready to obtain different perspectives. However, I personally believe that formal education does hamper people’s minds and spirits since it does not allow unique individuals to be part of school education.
Granted, in a handful of cases, formal education free people’s mind and spirits. By attending schools, people can start a journey to earn a wide array of knowledge and experience that they have not learn before. Take President Obama for example. Obama participated in all formal education, and he specialized in laws and politics. Without knowledge and experience he has taken from formal education, he would not be able to become a prominent politician and president of the U.S., and he would not be able to step out of his comfort zones to embrace people from all different walks of life and backgrounds. Therefore, formal education does become an impetus to set people’s minds and spirits free in some cases.
However, in some cases, formal education impedes people from freeing their minds and spirits. To illustrate, Helen Keller was diagnosed with illnesses and became blind and deaf. When she attended a school, she was ridiculed by many of her classmates, and her teachers forced Keller to quitting school. As a consequence, she had to be educated from a private teacher, Anne Sullivan. If schools were a place where free people’s spirit and minds, they should have welcomed any students who were willing to achieve that purpose. However, rather than helping Keller to free her minds and spirits, they restrained her from getting further knowledge and experience. Thus, formal education hampers people from freeing their spirits and minds.
In addition, formal education can be an impediment of freeing people’s minds and spirits rather than freeing them. For example, Elbert Einstein was a well-known scientist who could be able to climb the ladder of success without formal education. Since Einstein was not interested in subjects such as history and literature, he often clashed with the school authority. Consequently, he dropped out of the school. However, he was able to obtain advance knowledge in mathematics and physics in other forms of education, and could free his spirits and minds. As we can see from this compelling example, formal education sometimes hinders people’s minds and spirits from furthering their knowledge.
In conclusion, rather than freeing people’s minds and spirits, formal education act as a hindrance to them. Therefore, we should go the extra mile to overcome and be free it.
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| 2020-01-17 | Himanshu Sharma | 66 | view |
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flaws:
1. The example in the third paragraph is not a good example to support the topic.
2. The topic sentences are not developed properly, look:
However, in some cases, formal education impedes people from freeing their minds and spirits.
In addition, formal education can be an impediment of freeing people’s minds and spirits rather than freeing them.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 442 350
No. of Characters: 2246 1500
No. of Different Words: 201 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.585 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.081 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.594 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 183 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 137 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.417 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.529 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.362 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.513 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.252 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5