Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
Education is considered as a light to a person’s life. It helps to choose the path which is right and implants confidence in oneself. But only proper education can pave the right path for a child to prosper. Children learn from their parents and teachers who mould their characters and impart knowledge to them. But in the era of rat race, parents and teachers both coerce students to memorize and study formal knowledge to secure high marks in exams inhibiting them from creative ones. As a result, students have to stick to their books all day long to achieve high grades and these grades will help them to get a job with lucrative salary with which they can afford a luxurious life. But this formal education makes them so urbane that they become oblivious to express themselves freely.
The importance of formal education in mankind can’t be neglected. Without formal education, modern civilization will cease to develop as we need specialists in every field of works. A mechanical engineer to design cars, a cardiologist to treat our cardiac problems, a civil engineer to establish sky-scrapers, a room-designer to embellish rooms – without formal education a society can’t welcome these persons. Moreover, formal education is ineluctable to have a secured future. From primary education to higher education, higher education to universities everywhere the toppers are selected to pursue their education, naturally this tendency leads to parents and students chary about high grades. Even, in job students with higher marks are preferable to get jobs in good companies. Moreover, this bookish knowledge will aid to excel them in their career. But this pedagogy also enfeebles students’ imaginations – today’s children have no time to listen or read story books which nurtures the imagination power, besides their minds are restrained to logical facts.
But person who doesn’t want to confine himself in this narrow area would have to sacrifice his valuable time which sometimes can affect his performance also. Then why one want to do so? Therefore, though formal education is responsible for restraining mind and spirit, we can’t deny its impact on our society as a contrivance of income and development.
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flaws:
The content is not well organized..
better to have 4-5 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction. your ideas here
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 358 350
No. of Characters: 1817 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.35 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.075 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.705 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.889 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.386 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.303 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.436 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.165 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5