the graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children

Essay topics:

the graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children.

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of children’ leisure activities, age 5 – 14, in two different genders in Australia. According to bar chart, boy has higher the percentage in all except Art and Craft activities.

Firstly, all the Australia children, boys and girls, spend their time Watching TV and Videos that is the most popular activity whereas the percentage children who prefer to Play electronic games is the second most favorite activities and boys have more dominant percentage that is 80 percent, on the other hand, the girls percentage is lower than boys. It is 60 percent.

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Comments

the girls percentage is lower than boys.
the girls' percentage is lower than boys' percentage.

flaws:
Sentences need to be polished.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 10
No. of Words: 200 200
No. of Characters: 970 1000
No. of Different Words: 89 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.761 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.85 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.64 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 66 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 57 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.156 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.455 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.67 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.132 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4