The map below is of the town of Garlsdon A new supermarket S is planned for the town The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

Essay topics:

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new supermarket (S) is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The map illustrates about the possible supermarkets that can be build in Garlsdon Town with the number of citizens are 65,000.

Overall, the supermarkets are planned to build in town centre and countryside.

The first plan is in the countryside. The supermarket that is planned to build is far away from town centre. The area is also bit quiet because it is planned to built not in housing area. But, this supermarket is located near railway. So, it is possible for the traveller to buy some goods here if there is train station near supermarket.

The second supermarket that is planned to build is in town centre. The place is so strategic because it locates in the middle of people’s area. The location is just 16 kms from bransdon which the number of population are 15,000. Also, it is near Hindon, just 12 kms, with 10,000 population. However, it locates 25 km from Cransdon which have the biggest population, 29,000 citizens. Furthermore, the second supermarket is near from railway.

Interestingly, both supermarkets are far away from industries. So they do not cover people who work in Industry.

To sum up, supermarket which will locate in town centre is more strategic than supermarket in countryside.

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Sentence: The area is also bit quiet because it is planned to built not in housing area.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and built

Sentence: The location is just 16 kms from bransdon which the number of population are 15,000.
Description: The fragment number of population is not usually followed by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is

flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 6 4

better to have 4 paragraphs:

para 1: introduction
para 2: body 1
para 3: body 2
para 4: conclusion

sample:
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or
para 1: introduction
para 2: conclusion
para 3: body 1
para 4: body 2

sample:
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http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/graphs-below-show-types-music-album…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/table-below-gives-information-about…

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 10
No. of Words: 204 200
No. of Characters: 975 1000
No. of Different Words: 103 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.779 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.779 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.775 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 65 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 49 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 33 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 12.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.085 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.688 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.347 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.6 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.072 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 4