In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?
Most people nowadays who live in large cities have weaker relationship than they in the past who lived in small villages. While most modern people are individual, villagers were more friendly so that they knew well their neighbours. Living in small community, like in a small village, had several advantages and disadvantages.
In my view, the inhabitants had benefit such as social bounding. In a village, the citizenry met their neighbour often wherever they went in that village. This led them to become closer. Moreover, this warm environment made people paid attention each other. When someone conducted a big party, wedding party for example, all inhabitants in village were involved to organize and realize the party, although they were not a family. The women helped cooking while the men organized the party and managed equipment needed.
However, there were also disadvantages. Most villagers had same occupation, like farmer, which their daily conversation was just about agriculture. They had less knowledge about politics or other subjects and also they were difficult to get information from other resources. As a result, people who lived in small villages were tend to develop the community slowly. Besides, sometimes having too closer relationship bit disturbs someone’s privacy. Some inhabitants regarded that their own was other’s own, and their problem was also other’s problem.
To sum up, I believe that living in a small village gave many positive effects than its negatives. Sharing knowledge with other small communities could improve their knowledge, that results in developing the community well.
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2016-02-06 | Minal Bobhate | 63 | view |
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Sentence: Most people nowadays who live in large cities have weaker relationship than they in the past who lived in small villages.
Description: The tag a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by in
Suggestion: Refer to they and in
Sentence: Moreover, this warm environment made people paid attention each other.
Description: The fragment people paid attention is rare
Sentence: As a result, people who lived in small villages were tend to develop the community slowly.
Description: The fragment were tend to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace tend with adjective
Sentence: Besides, sometimes having too closer relationship bit disturbs someone's privacy.
Description: The fragment bit disturbs someone's is rare
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.882 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.411 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.706 0.12
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.043 0.07
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 253 350
No. of Characters: 1333 1500
No. of Different Words: 159 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.988 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.269 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.612 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 97 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 77 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.882 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.411 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.706 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.302 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.491 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.043 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5