The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
A glance at the chart provided reveals significant factors contributing global land degradation. The supplied table, meanwhile, illustrates citation of three regions and evidence of contribution of those factors in these regions.
Among all of the influences, over-grazing is assessed to be by far the most crucial impact for land degradation. Obviously, 35 percent of global land was ruined by this agricultural action. Following contributors of land degradation are deforestation and over-cultivation which destroy 30 and 28 percent of worldwide land respectively. In the neighborhood of 7 percent of land is degraded by other motives.
The regions, namely North American, Europe and Oceania, suffered from those causes of land degradation at various scales. Europe – which is evaluated to have 23 percent of its land degraded – has destroyed 9.8 percent of land by deforestation. The other regions faced this challenge in much less quantities and 5 and 13 percent of their total land degraded in North American and Oceania respectively.
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Sentence: A glance at the chart provided reveals significant factors contributing global land degradation.
Suggestion: remove provided
flaws:
No. of Words: 159 200
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4
better to have 4 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: body 1
para 3: body 2
para 4: conclusion
sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/graph-below-gives-information-about…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 159 200
No. of Characters: 859 1000
No. of Different Words: 93 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.551 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.403 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.21 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 67 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 56 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.163 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.467 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.648 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.127 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4