In some countries teenagers are allowed to work part time jobs. Some people say it is a good thing, but others disagree. Discuss both views. Give your own opinion and support it with examples.
As we study history, we know in the past people had to work very hard and in some countries even teenagers had to work to help their families. Nowadays, although life style in those countries is changed, but people still believe is very good for their children to have a job at least a part time jobs. Some people disagree with this idea, and think working weather in full time methods or part time methods is harmful for teenagers.
First group have some reason for their idea. First of all, it is true our world is changed, but if children have a part time job, they will be more successful in the future. Having a job is a great opportunity that teenagers can use it for learning about their abilities and earn experiences. Secondly, if teenagers have a part time job, they will understand about money value, so they do not waste their money.
On the other hand, Second group also has some reason too. Firstly, job environment is not healthy and good for teenagers. Their soul is very pure but they have to work with adult, so they lose their purities. Besides, teenagers are future hope of the country, so they must try hard and study and also have great education. It is possible having part time job influence their education.
In my opinion, we should be moderate. We cannot say part time is bad at all, or it is good. In my opinion, summer is the best time that teenagers can have part time job, but this jobs is only for summers. For example, some boys very like to fix cars and be a mechanic, so they can try be a mechanic in summers.
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Sentence: In my opinion, summer is the best time that teenagers can have part time job, but this jobs is only for summers.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and jobs
Sentence: For example, some boys very like to fix cars and be a mechanic, so they can try be a mechanic in summers.
Description: The word like is not usually used as an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to like
Description: A verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive is not usually followed by a verb 'to be', infinitive or imperative
Suggestion: Refer to try and be
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 137 200
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 286 350
No. of Characters: 1219 1500
No. of Different Words: 137 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.112 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.262 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.149 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 62 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 49 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 31 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 18 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.875 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.954 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.688 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.354 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.538 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5