Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There are widespread debates for the position of indigenous people and visitors about accepting either cultural assimilation or multiculturalism as their political views. People who support cultural assimilation think that the minor groups or immigrants should follow their local customs and tradition in order to maintain harmony and peace. Others, however, argue that multiculturalism treats diversity, which means that we have something to lean. In this essay, I would synthesis both arguments and suggest if there is any solution for those conflicts.
Culture and all of derivations from it such as customs and traditions shape humans life into a new direction. For some people, it is crucial to preserve their custom from other influences. They attempt to prevent it by giving a strict pressure to minority or to visitors for fully adapting with their habits. Minority, however, tends to lose their own cultural identity in which they follow for certain period of time if assimilation occurs. Indonesia in 1966, for instance, some Chinese like Soe Hok Djin should change their name to Indonesian name to Arief Budiman for obtaining easiness in works and educations’ access. This perspective therefore has limited fairness or injustice to nonnative or people who are considered by it.
Although assimilation does not answer the cultural problems completely, it does not mean that multiculturalism as alternative is a perfect solution for those problems. Dogma in multiculturalism states that we can live in the major differences and variations and therefore will gain huge advantages by it. There are enormous examples in which shows that statement is not technically correct. Approximate number of social studies examining, the percentage of multicultural society that lives in chaotic situation is far higher than homogenous society.
To put all in a nutshell, while for some people examine that following behaviour seems easy to practice in all type of communities, empirical studies show that both solutions only works in an artificial way. I strongly recommend that all communities should be flexible to choose either assimilation or multiculturalism and should record one objective in mind: preserving balance for all differences is the most elevated thing.
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Comments
Hi sir, Thank for your
Hi sir,
Thank for your correction. I just wonder why some essays get score 7.5 marked by sticky? Is there any special criteria?
Once again, thank you for helping me :)
-bije-
Yes, If an essay is around
Yes, If an essay is around 7.5 - 8.0, we give the mark 7.5.
Only essays in 7.5 - 8.0 or over 8.0 can be marked by sticky tag.
Sentence: In this essay, I would synthesis both arguments and suggest if there is any solution for those conflicts.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to would and synthesis
flaws:
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.05 0.07
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.5 out of 9
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 350 350
No. of Characters: 1884 1500
No. of Different Words: 213 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.325 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.383 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.043 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.875 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.133 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.287 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.5 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.05 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5