Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a doubt, whether family or school that has high role in educating children to be nice participant of community. I think parents and teachers have their each way in teaching children to be good person in the future for nation.
Firstly, Parents are the first person who know children well. Their rules are the first standards for children in communicating with others. Secondly, Children often imitate what the parents do in their daily activity, because the parents are the first role figures for them. Sometimes, they think that their parents are their heroes and can be the admissible persons for them. Many children have to face many parents’ rules every day, of course, it will influence children’s character to be more polite than other youths. Thirdly, father and mother almost have full control of their children, so they can shape their children’s personality better than before, as individual or groupie’s member.
However, there are many reasons why school give many impacts for children’s behavior. Firstly, children spent most their time in school, so that teacher has more time to teach child to be good participant in society’s part. Secondly, at the school, children meet their friends, then they learn how to make good relationship in large community. Their friends became their main role models when they are growing up.Thirdly, school gives a punishment for children who do not obey school's rule. Hence, children habit formed by school's obligation.
For the reasons that I mention above, it seems to me that school has the higher influence than family when the children’s growth so, school’s environment gives the bigger impact for children’s future as good member of society. However, parents and teachers have same responsibilities in teaching children as good participant of citizens.
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Sentence: I think parents and teachers have their each way in teaching children to be good person in the future for nation.
Description: A determiner, possessive is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, singular
Suggestion: Refer to their and each
Sentence: However, there are many reasons why school give many impacts for children's behavior.
Description: The fragment school give many is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace give with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: Firstly, children spent most their time in school, so that teacher has more time to teach child to be good participant in society's part.
Description: The word most is not usually used as an adverb, superlative
Suggestion: Refer to most
Sentence: Hence, children habit formed by school's obligation.
Hence, children's habits are formed by school's obligations.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 294 350
No. of Characters: 1483 1500
No. of Different Words: 153 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.141 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.044 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.503 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 111 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.473 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.867 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.406 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.59 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.182 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5