Some say that young people are not suitable for decision-making positions in governments; others, however, disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Whether or not young civil servants should be assigned to important positions in government to be a hotly debated issue. There are those who argue that it should be considered to designate young public servants as leaders because they lack experience to fulfil their responsibilities. To my mind, it is unacceptable to agree with this viewpoint for several reasons.
Young public servants are better than old officers at communication by English and professional skills. Public officers of the government usually contact with foreingers, so officers are required to be fluent in English. International integration process, English is a common language to communicate when governments share information with each other at the international conferences. Young civil servants may commincate English well because it is not difficult for them to study a foreing language compared. What is more, young public servants are well-educated in universities, so they are equppied both professional skills and how to use technologies including computer to meet requirements of the job.
Another reason is that young officers are more energetic and determined than old civil servants. This does not competence but spychology because old people usually considerate when they make decision to overcome an awkward problems. Meanwhile, there are some emergent senarios that it is crucial to solve as quickly as possible in adminstrative work. For instance, in a recent research of Ministry of the Interior, in Vietnam more than 80% old public servants is not enough determination to cope with emergent issues. Therefore, it is imperative that young public servants should be appointed as leaders in governments.
It seems to me that although experience plays a vital role in working environment, determination and better degree should be overweighted. It would be unfair if assignation of leaders base on experience and age. These are not regarded as paramount criteria for designation her or him as higher positions in governments.
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This does not competence
This is not in competence
there are some emergent senarios that it is crucial to solve as quickly as possible
there are some emergent scenarios that are crucial to be solved as quickly as possible
more than 80% old public servants is not enough determination
more than 80% old public servants do not have enough determination
if assignation of leaders base on experience and age.
if assignation of leaders are based on experience and age.
Sentence: There are those who argue that it should be considered to designate young public servants as leaders because they lack experience to fulfil their responsibilities.
Error: fulfil Suggestion: fulfill
Sentence: Public officers of the government usually contact with foreingers, so officers are required to be fluent in English.
Error: foreingers Suggestion: foreigners
Sentence: Young civil servants may commincate English well because it is not difficult for them to study a foreing language compared.
Error: commincate Suggestion: communicate
Error: foreing Suggestion: foreign
Sentence: What is more, young public servants are well-educated in universities, so they are equppied both professional skills and how to use technologies including computer to meet requirements of the job.
Error: equppied Suggestion: equipped
Sentence: This does not competence but spychology because old people usually considerate when they make decision to overcome an awkward problems.
Error: spychology Suggestion: psychology
Sentence: Meanwhile, there are some emergent senarios that it is crucial to solve as quickly as possible in adminstrative work.
Error: adminstrative Suggestion: administrative
Error: senarios Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: It seems to me that although experience plays a vital role in working environment, determination and better degree should be overweighted.
Error: overweighted Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 311 350
No. of Characters: 1674 1500
No. of Different Words: 175 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.199 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.383 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.147 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 83 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.438 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.743 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.438 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.327 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.535 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5