Both government and individuals are spending too much money protecting animals and their habitat. This money should be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and health care. To what extent do you agree?

The budgetary allocation to the prevention of animals and their habit from the threat expensed by not only government but also citizens. However, it is more essential to spend money on tackling society's problems. From my perspective, I partly agree with this idea which is illustrated below.
There are several benefits when ensuring the safety of wildlife. Firstly, a handful number of rare animals would be on the edge of extinction; therefore, unless the construction of wildlife sanctuaries is given financial aid by authorities, the existence of some kind of endangered animals would be assured because overfishing and poaching may be underused. Secondly, the reliance on animal behaviours may help scientists to define the best method for preservation of the natural habitat. For example, some kinds of crocodiles have abilities to make predictions about the unprecedented events such as earthquakes, tsunami or hail.
Apart from the statement mentioned above, the quality of human life is also especially important in social development. Firstly, living below poverty lines is a major problem in some underdeveloped countries. This is because mortality rates is extremely increasing due to annual starvation without any financial support from local authorities. Secondly, a real shortage of healthcare services has tremendous impacts on citizens' health conditions. For instance, the outbreak of epidemic in African countries might be the culprit of insufficient professional doctors, hospitals, and infirmaries. Therefore, spending money on these fields is fundamentally paramount.
In conclusion, in my opinion, both wildlife and human life are equally crucial in society; therefore, national budgets should be allocated proportionately to these sections.

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 419, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'citizens'' or 'citizen's'?
Suggestion: citizens'; citizen's
...care services has tremendous impacts on citizens health conditions. For instance, the ou...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, apart from, for example, for instance, in conclusion, kind of, such as, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 13.1623246493 114% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 7.85571142285 76% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 10.4138276553 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 2.0 7.30460921844 27% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 9.0 24.0651302605 37% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 41.998997996 100% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.3376753507 144% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1506.0 1615.20841683 93% => OK
No of words: 261.0 315.596192385 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.77011494253 5.12529762239 113% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.0193898071 4.20363070211 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.20877051497 2.80592935109 114% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 176.041082164 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.681992337165 0.561755894193 121% => OK
syllable_count: 483.3 506.74238477 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.9 1.60771543086 118% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 5.43587174349 55% => OK
Article: 7.0 2.52805611222 277% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 16.0721442886 87% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.2975951904 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.452481372 49.4020404114 114% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.571428571 106.682146367 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.6428571429 20.7667163134 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.6428571429 7.06120827912 165% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.67935871743 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.9879759519 125% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.190471990041 0.244688304435 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0561052635173 0.084324248473 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0471870694615 0.0667982634062 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.104290438487 0.151304729494 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0442229956547 0.056905535591 78% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 13.0946893788 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 27.83 50.2224549098 55% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.9 11.3001002004 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 16.19 12.4159519038 130% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.76 8.58950901804 125% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 78.4519038076 131% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 9.78957915832 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.1190380762 91% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.