I think it is cheap to advertise by television directed towards young children. Young children do not think much. Therefore, directed towards young children is too commercial.
To begin with,we buy things according to our needs, and the markets pay for those who make the products we need. However, advertising aims at children as a result, this makes unnecessary purchases:not purchases for our needs. Young children want to have what they want to have. For example, if a child goes to a mart with his parents, he or she is asked to buy a cookie by swirling in the sweet corner. So I think that these ads have lost the purpose of the market.
Next, children will want to have it every time they see the ad. So parents will buy it. And children are tired of old things every time they buy new things. Things that are not needed are at home thus, they becomes a trash. In the children's house, things that are not used are increased. An easy example is a toy. Even toys are not used at all.
Therefore, I think it is a bad idea to let children consume by targeting advertising. It is thought that the advertisement that consumes for the enjoyment of the moment does not make healthy consumer society.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
I think it is cheap to advertise by tele...
^^^
Line 3, column 14, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , we
...dren is too commercial. To begin with,we buy things according to our needs, and ...
^^^
Line 5, column 209, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'become'
Suggestion: become
...t are not needed are at home thus, they becomes a trash. In the childrens house, things...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, so, therefore, thus, for example, i think, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 13.8261648746 22% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 43.0788530466 63% => OK
Preposition: 22.0 52.1666666667 42% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 993.0 1977.66487455 50% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 217.0 407.700716846 53% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.57603686636 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.8380880478 4.48103885553 86% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54201668748 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 125.0 212.727598566 59% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.576036866359 0.524837075471 110% => OK
syllable_count: 301.5 618.680645161 49% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 12.0 20.1344086022 60% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 31.8764917556 48.9658058833 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 58.4117647059 100.406767564 58% => More chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 12.7647058824 20.6045352989 62% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.82352941176 5.45110844103 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.170738802887 0.236089414692 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0661952893484 0.076458572812 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.073988201616 0.0737576698707 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.11609012939 0.150856017488 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0981614223397 0.0645574589148 152% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 6.5 11.7677419355 55% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 76.22 58.1214874552 131% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 5.6 10.1575268817 55% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 8.4 10.9000537634 77% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.0 8.01818996416 87% => OK
difficult_words: 38.0 86.8835125448 44% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 6.8 10.0537634409 68% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Minimum 250 words wanted.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.