Undoubtedly, each government faces with difficult decision-making processes of allocating its limited budget to various aspects, which are useful to the whole society. At the zenith of these aspects, there is educational system. When it comes to this point, many governments want to know which grades are the most necessary one to spend more money on them. Several political decision makers believe that allocating educational budget to very young children (five to ten years) seems more essential than spending money on universities. I personally concur with it. In what follows, I will delve into couple of reasons to shed light on my response.
First, spending money on primary schools leads to prevent future students from studying abroad. In general, young children who are between five and ten years old, count as the future generation of a society. If these children are encouraged by their schools during their educational periods, they would think that they are owe to their country. This phenomenon leads children to have added values for their own country whenever they grow up. As a result, they are always satisfied, and never do they think about studying abroad. As I remember, when I was a nine-years-old child, I lived in a small city, named Boroujerd. My classmates and I always faced with lack of facilities and equipment, which was necessary for continuing our education; for example, we did not have any standard playing field. So, never were our sport classes held up. Asking for solving problems, we usually were answered by our school's boss about budget deficiencies. Now, I am a big candidate for studying abroad, and the unsporting behaviors of those days always are in my mind.
Second, should governments spend more money on educational system of primary schools, the future generations would be more useful to the society. The primary schools are where young children know how to behave in their future life. Teaching behavior to young children needs expert and professional teachers, who require high salaries to be hired. If government does not allocate a massive amount of budget to the primary schools, managers of these schools cannot hire eligible teachers, which unlikely leads to successful behavioral lessons. As a result, when the young children do not learn sufficient behaviors, they cannot be perfect future generations, and they will be counted as a threaten to the whole society. Again, on those days, I remember our teacher did not care about how we behaved against each other. But whenever I heard about my cousin, who had lived in London, I got shocked, because his teacher had always worked on their behavioral patterns. My same-aged friends and I passed a lot of days to know which behaviors are the best, but if we did not, our society would not take any advantage of having us.
To recapitulate, we can conclude that it is more important to governments to spend more money on primary schools for very young children (5 to 10 years old). This is because this strategy not only prevent future generations from studying abroad but also, makes them to be useful for their whole society. Thus, I strongly propose that if any government want to be on the way of development, should pay attention on primary schools more than the other parts of its educational system.
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- TOEFL T P O 46 - Integrated Writing Task 3
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 324, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'owed'.
Suggestion: owed
...periods, they would think that they are owe to their country. This phenomenon leads...
^^^
Line 2, column 805, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[4]
Message: The adverb 'never' is usually put after the verb 'were'.
Suggestion: were never
...ot have any standard playing field. So, never were our sport classes held up. Asking for s...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 875, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[5]
Message: The adverb 'usually' is usually put after the verb 'were'.
Suggestion: were usually
...eld up. Asking for solving problems, we usually were answered by our schools boss about budg...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 685, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...enerations, and they will be counted as a threaten to the whole society. Again, on those d...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, so, thus, for example, in general, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 63.0 43.0788530466 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 72.0 52.1666666667 138% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2762.0 1977.66487455 140% => OK
No of words: 551.0 407.700716846 135% => OK
Chars per words: 5.01270417423 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.84493438435 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70812388938 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 264.0 212.727598566 124% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.479128856624 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 852.3 618.680645161 138% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 3.51792114695 256% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.2788197786 48.9658058833 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.296296296 100.406767564 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4074074074 20.6045352989 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.81481481481 5.45110844103 52% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.88709677419 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.30282569748 0.236089414692 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0809407728152 0.076458572812 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0950229324253 0.0737576698707 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.20591475584 0.150856017488 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0595062631552 0.0645574589148 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 11.7677419355 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 10.9000537634 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.01 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 86.8835125448 136% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.