People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.

The essential question of the prompt is that how people have changed about spending their time on personal stuffs and entertainment instead of more productive activities? Certainly, some people if asked would agree with the statement that folks are concentrating on their injoyment too much while others would say that the question is double-edged due to a great deal of factors involved. As far as I am concerned, I adopt the second position and maintain that today's humans are not so self involved because of two prominent reasons which include new busy life style and high competition. What follows will shed more light on each point given.

One reason is that people have never been busier before than they are now. They have to deal with a various range of issues every day which has built of family, job and school affairs. As a result a little portion of their time is left to be invested of things which they like to do or those that are enjoyable. To illustrate that idea let’s consider the following example. I remember one of my relative who was a mother, a wife and a student at the same time, regardless of how good she could handle her multi tasks life, she always seemed frustrated and focused on managing the different demands of her life aspects. In this situation, no one can accuse her on not being productive enough. In a nutshell, busy life and personal issues cannot gather in the same room.

Equally important is that high competitive environments lead people to concentrate more on what they are doing for their life and put their personal needs aside. No matter one is an office worker or is a manager, he should be very hard working to stay in the contest rode because if they slow the rate, their opponent could catch them and they no longer would be able to stay lucrative. On the other hand, consider a student in a college or university, he should strive to success in order to finish his education and then find an appropriate job in future. These sorts of circumstances convince people to weight their professional or family targets over their individual interest.

It is evident that there are more supporting arguments to claim that current human beings have less free time as a whole. However, two of them were provided here. Taking them into account it could be suggest that maybe people need help in order to realize their personal interests are vital as much as other dimensions of life. Furthermore, government can provide situation in which people have more free time. For example they can reduce working hours or something like this.

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one of my relative who was a mother
one of my relatives who was a mother

Sentence: I remember one of my relative who was a mother, a wife and a student at the same time, regardless of how good she could handle her multi tasks life, she always seemed frustrated and focused on managing the different demands of her life aspects.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to tasks and life

Sentence: In this situation, no one can accuse her on not being productive enough.
Description: The token on is not usually followed by a negator
Suggestion: Refer to on and not

Sentence: Certainly, some people if asked would agree with the statement that folks are concentrating on their injoyment too much while others would say that the question is double-edged due to a great deal of factors involved.
Error: injoyment Suggestion: No alternate word

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 448 350
No. of Characters: 2091 1500
No. of Different Words: 259 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.601 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.667 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.463 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.285 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.267 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.452 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5