Should art and music be compulsory subjects?

Many researchers have proved the benefits of having art or music lessons. Personally, I strongly believe learning art or music is beneficial. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will further explore in the following essay.

First of all, recent research conducted by one of the most famous research centers suggests that music stimulates the brain associated with academic performance. According to the research, students who have taken music lessons performed 15% better than those who have never taken music lessons. My cousin, Jason’s experience is a compelling example of this. When he was young, his parents insisted on taking music lessons. While in elementary schools, he outshines most of his classmates. He always ranked first in his school until high school years. He is currently accepted to the best university in my country and everyone admires his achievement. In my opinion, if it had not been for the music training he went through in his childhood, he wouldn’t have had this outstanding performance.

Secondly, another crucial fact of learning music is that music can enhance social skills. Since music is an art that should be performed with a group of people, students can learn team work and how to relate to others. Recent studies suggest that more and more companies require employees with strong social skills such as communicating and interacting with colleagues and client. For instance, many of my co-workers took music classes in elementary or high schools; they can easily apply the communication skills learned while playing musical instruments. For the past few years, I had a really hard time keeping up with most of my colleagues because I am an introverted person and I was not as eloquent as they were. It seems that they applied these techniques naturally, especially when negotiating with our customers. Usually, the process goes on smoothly and our customers are very satisfied. This example demonstrates that music does play an important part in enhancing communication skills.

In conclusion, I believe that learning art and music are valuable. This is because art and music help students to achieve academic success and because they help young individuals to improve their communication skills tremendously.

Votes
Average: 4.8 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...urther explore in the following essay. First of all, recent research conducted ...
^^^
Line 5, column 182, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to team'
Suggestion: to team
...h a group of people, students can learn team work and how to relate to others. Recen...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, really, second, secondly, so, while, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, such as, first of all, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 52.1666666667 73% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1920.0 1977.66487455 97% => OK
No of words: 363.0 407.700716846 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.28925619835 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3649236973 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90537108782 2.67179642975 109% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.570247933884 0.524837075471 109% => OK
syllable_count: 574.2 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.4308142909 48.9658058833 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.4285714286 100.406767564 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.2857142857 20.6045352989 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.7619047619 5.45110844103 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.208844112411 0.236089414692 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.067186471718 0.076458572812 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0752875204997 0.0737576698707 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.141008266433 0.150856017488 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0375110265539 0.0645574589148 58% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 11.7677419355 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 58.1214874552 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.11 10.9000537634 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.61 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 86.8835125448 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.