Some students prefer to live on campus in a dormitory. Others prefer to live in an apartment or house off campus. Which do you prefer?
University students especially ones who are not settlers of that country must choose a place to live. Although having an independent place to live off campus would have some benefits for them, the advantages of living on campus should not be disregarded. The following essay supports this point of view.
Undoubtedly, living in an apartment alone or just accompanied by a trustable person such as your close friend contributes to the sense of satisfaction and autonomy for the students. One reason is that they can not only manage their time and activities due to their own needs, but also not be detracted by others’ preferences. For instance, you can decide when to study and when to sleep without being distracted by noises while your roommates are laughing during watching television. Another reason is that they will not be engaged in annoying situations according to roommates’ bothering behaviors. For example, the students avoid having conflicting arguments with others who do not respect your rights and desires.
However, living on campus in dormitories with other people would provide beneficial points for the students. First, it would be more economical for the students. Since, they are not required to afford high expenses of transportation or hiring a house. Second, they would save their time and have more chance to study or relax. They can reach their classes soon and more conveniently by walking or biking without the hesitations such as traffic or long distances. And finally, living with other peoples holding different and sometimes conflicting believes and characteristics gives the students the opportunity to experience new skills in communicating others. They learn how to put up with different behaviors and create respectful interactions with others.
In conclusion, besides the advantages of living alone outside the university, living in dormitories would help the students in several aspects of their lives.
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| 2014-12-23 | parisamani | 70 | view |
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Comments
Is it correct now? they can
Is it correct now?
they can not only manage their time and activities due to their own needs, but also are not detracted by others’ preferences.
No. Read books no how to use
No. Read books no how to use 'not only...but also'
they can not only manage
they can not only manage their time and activities due to their own needs, but they also can benefit from not being detracted by others’ preferences.
Not only can they manage
Not only can they manage their time and activities due to their own needs, but they also can benefit from not being detracted by others’ preferences.
they can not only manage their time and activities due to their own needs, but also not be detracted by others’ preferences.
Description: Not only...but also is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?
flaws:
Better to develop a reason in one paragraph to . It is not good only to put 1-2 sentence like 'First, it would be more economical for the students. Since, they are not required to afford high expenses of transportation or hiring a house. '
Try this pattern:
Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.
Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences.) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).
Para 3: Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing like First
Para 4: Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing like First but shorter
Para 5: Conclusion.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 306 350
No. of Characters: 1602 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.182 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.235 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.817 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.125 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.122 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.312 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.506 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5