People spend their free time in different ways. On the one hand some of them prefer to do activities that they enjoy, but on the other hand others opt for staying home and continue working. In my opinion, spending time on personal enjoyment has more benefits. This is due to the fact that personal enjoyment activities helps you in different aspects of your life such as professional, social and health issues.
First, spending your leisure time in activities that you enjoy helps you to find your passion. This passion is the one that you can transform into your profession. For example, Steve Jobs, Who was CEO of Apple, found his profession in his passion. At a young age, he was interested in technology, so he always tried to spend his free time in activities related with technology. When he turned twenty years old , he made his passion become his work and found apple computers with his friend steve Wosniak. This example clearly illustrate that personal enjoyment activities can lead us to our future proffesions.
In addition to the benefits in professional aspects, spending time in activities that you enjoy improve your relationship with other people. For instance,someone who do what he wants tend to attract more people than someone that just stay home and do not enjoy life ; as a result, it is easer for him to make new friend and create new bonds. Moreover, personal enjoyment helps to reenforce the tides with your family members since you can share this free time with your family and make the enjoyment an important reunion.Therefore,this is how personal enjoyment helps your social relationships.
Finally, an important aspect in which personal enjoyment helps you is related with our health.Spending time doing an activity that you enjoy help you to reduce stress;thus,it decrease the probability to trigger a more serius illness.For example, my friend Juan , who is an Architech, told me that because of his work , he experience a lot of pressure. One day was diagnostic with a servere illness in his skin and the doctors attributed this problem to the high level of stress in which he was exposed. This example shows the relationship between the health and our personal enjoyment.
In conclusion, doing activities that fill you with joy is beneficial in different aspects of our lifes such as professional, social and health matters.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 410, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...hnology. When he turned twenty years old , he made his passion become his work and...
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Line 5, column 122, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...that you enjoy improve your relationship with other people. For instance,someone ...
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Line 5, column 155, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , someone
...ionship with other people. For instance,someone who do what he wants tend to attract mo...
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Line 5, column 478, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...an share this free time with your family and make the enjoyment an important reun...
^^
Line 5, column 524, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Therefore
...make the enjoyment an important reunion.Therefore,this is how personal enjoyment helps yo...
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Line 5, column 533, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , this
...enjoyment an important reunion.Therefore,this is how personal enjoyment helps your so...
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Line 7, column 68, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[4]
Message: The pronoun 'you' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'be'
Suggestion: be
...t in which personal enjoyment helps you is related with our health.Spending time d...
^^
Line 7, column 95, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Spending
...nt helps you is related with our health.Spending time doing an activity that you enjoy h...
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Line 7, column 172, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , it
...you enjoy help you to reduce stress;thus,it decrease the probability to trigger a m...
^^^
Line 7, column 176, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'decreases'?
Suggestion: decreases
...enjoy help you to reduce stress;thus,it decrease the probability to trigger a more seriu...
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Line 7, column 234, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...bility to trigger a more serius illness.For example, my friend Juan , who is an Arc...
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Line 7, column 261, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...rius illness.For example, my friend Juan , who is an Architech, told me that becau...
^^
Line 7, column 317, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...hitech, told me that because of his work , he experience a lot of pressure. One da...
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Line 7, column 323, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'experiences'.
Suggestion: experiences
..., told me that because of his work , he experience a lot of pressure. One day was diagnost...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, if, moreover, so, therefore, thus, for example, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, such as, as a result, in my opinion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 64.0 43.0788530466 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1977.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 392.0 407.700716846 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04336734694 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44960558625 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92666527043 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 212.727598566 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.484693877551 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 595.8 618.680645161 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 72.8672775559 48.9658058833 149% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.294117647 100.406767564 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0588235294 20.6045352989 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.70588235294 5.45110844103 178% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.5376344086 253% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.211001315056 0.236089414692 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0761568917505 0.076458572812 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.047700516069 0.0737576698707 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.141145268159 0.150856017488 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0434344319806 0.0645574589148 67% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 11.7677419355 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.25 10.9000537634 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.88 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 86.8835125448 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 63.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 19.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.