TPO-09 - Independent Writing Task
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Technology nowadays are quickly being developed drastically, thus, many advancement in computers are used by majority of people. Indeed, this improvement in science had made our life's easier and convenient. In my opinion, technology made our young generation less creative than in the older years, therefore, creativity and uniqueness in one's minds are rarely being applied in everyday lives. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, gadgets and computers are used almost everyday by teenagers, in which, if they need certain things to be accomplished like project in arts, they just will search in the worldwide web to know to exactly how to made things such as painting, in other words, they will not use their brain to think outside the box in creating their own masterpiece. My own experience is a compelling example of this. Before, I love to create my own dish at home, experimenting with different ingredients available at our fridge, this way I was able to practice being creative and practicing different styles in cooking, due to lack of resources when I was little I was forced to do it on my own. But now, I only relied on the internet for the procedure and ingredients that I need to cook, thus, the easy accessibility of the internet tends people becoming lazy and not imaginative in widening one's knowledge.
Secondly, technology has bad effects on our health especially on children, due, to their bodies are not fully developed their eyes could suffer, they are prone to have astigmatism and to wear graded glasses. In addition, these technology are addicting to them, such as, online games, computer games, therefore, their overall health would be compromised because they may lack the needed sleep they need for growth and development in their brain, also, some of the teenagers are having poor diet due to they are hooked in the game, they play 10 hours straight without anything to eat or drink. For instance, In the clinic I work for, a 10 year old kid was confined in the hospital due to ulcer and strained eyes, they neglect their health to feed this addiction in games. Accordingly, I believe there are no benefits to the health of our young generation to be exposed in the advancement in technology, risks in health are more abundant thus, it should not be supported at all.
In conclusion, I believe that parents should not expose their off springs in technology. This is because harmful effects are expected to be seen in children who are inclined in use of computers and technology such as being less creative and bad effects on health.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 68, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun advancement seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much advancement', 'a good deal of advancement'.
Suggestion: much advancement; a good deal of advancement
...ckly being developed drastically, thus, many advancement in computers are used by majority of pe...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 339, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...therefore, creativity and uniqueness in ones minds are rarely being applied in every...
^^^^
Line 3, column 888, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...ng lazy and not imaginative in widening ones knowledge. Secondly, technology has...
^^^^
Line 5, column 222, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this technology' or 'these technologies'?
Suggestion: this technology; these technologies
...nd to wear graded glasses. In addition, these technology are addicting to them, such as, online ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 452, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...h and development in their brain, also, some of the teenagers are having poor diet due to t...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, first, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, as for, for instance, i feel, in addition, in conclusion, such as, first of all, in my opinion, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 15.1003584229 185% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 52.1666666667 136% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2182.0 1977.66487455 110% => OK
No of words: 449.0 407.700716846 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.85968819599 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60321845022 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72841688696 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 245.0 212.727598566 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.54565701559 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 678.6 618.680645161 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 32.0 20.1344086022 159% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 97.3854376659 48.9658058833 199% => OK
Chars per sentence: 155.857142857 100.406767564 155% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.0714285714 20.6045352989 156% => OK
Discourse Markers: 13.5 5.45110844103 248% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.118086479299 0.236089414692 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0427860497761 0.076458572812 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0350420638318 0.0737576698707 48% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0794159071027 0.150856017488 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0233678953628 0.0645574589148 36% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.5 11.7677419355 149% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.46 58.1214874552 82% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 10.1575268817 144% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.5 10.9000537634 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.67 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 86.8835125448 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 10.002688172 125% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.8 10.0537634409 147% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.