Technology plays an important part in our daily lives. We can use technology on almost every aspects of lives and obviously we cannot escape its influence anymore. One very important technology is computers. Both adults and children can access to video games through using computer. Some people believe that computers games help young children to be more creative, while others hold different opinion. In my view, children should not be allowed to play computers games for many reasons.
First, children who play computer games become unhealthy. Since computer games possess an addicted effect, which makes children spend many hours playing without feeling that. This means they would not have time to do physical activities, and consequently, lead to obesity. For example, a month ago , I read an article about the negative impacts of lacking physical activities on young children, in particular, their cognitive abilities and their growth. According to this article, the major cause for children to do not participate in any sports, or other social activities is that these young children have been playing video-games for hours during their normal day. These children have unable to develop normally, or suffer from some inabilities to communicate effectively with others from same age. As you can see, playing computer games are not only complete waste of time, but also do have serious problems on children’s development.
Second, children who spend hours playing games, they do not have enough time to study. As I mentioned earlier, videos games do really have addiction affects, this negative impact would shift children away from their important studies, in fact, they will fail in their study. For instance, two- years ago, my sister brought to her son, who is a young child, one of so popular video-games as a reward for his success in studying in that year. Since that year, my nephew was spending many hours playing games without pay attention to his homework’s, or exams. After that, though his parents followed up with him, he had begun to do not very well on his studies, and eventually he failed on certain exams. My sister had realized that since he started playing, his grades went down dramatically because he did not have time to study, besides to stay up late. This experience taught me that even if parents organize their children time to play some video-games, they would not able to control how many hours will spend because of addiction powers. ultimately, children will waste their precious studying time.
In short, children should not allow to play computer games not only it will deteriorate their health, but also do waste their studying time. We should all encourage parents to take care of their children by spending more time with them instead of letting them do useless activities.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 298, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ead to obesity. For example, a month ago , I read an article about the negative im...
^^
Line 5, column 1048, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Ultimately
...will spend because of addiction powers. ultimately, children will waste their precious stu...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 37, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'playing'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: playing
... In short, children should not allow to play computer games not only it will deterio...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, consequently, first, if, really, second, so, well, while, for example, for instance, in fact, in particular, in short, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 43.0788530466 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2378.0 1977.66487455 120% => OK
No of words: 460.0 407.700716846 113% => OK
Chars per words: 5.16956521739 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6311565067 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66797876319 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 251.0 212.727598566 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.545652173913 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 725.4 618.680645161 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.994623655914 101% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.1723163566 48.9658058833 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.391304348 100.406767564 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.47826086957 5.45110844103 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.267128131903 0.236089414692 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0963422413308 0.076458572812 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0770956927092 0.0737576698707 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.195931739313 0.150856017488 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0511088999969 0.0645574589148 79% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 11.7677419355 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 10.9000537634 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.03 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 86.8835125448 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 10.002688172 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 78.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.